As an events practitioner, I know that all launches, beginnings and firsts should start with a bang! But writing my first entry for my first sort-of-public blog feels more like an awkward thud than a clever and self-assured bang. Maybe because after what feels like a lifetime of not writing, I announced to the world (or at least in Facebook and twitterverse) that I will be starting a new blog, and as soon as I said it, writers' block caught up with me. This wasn't the case last night, when I couldn't stop thinking about starting a blog. I had a lot of ideas for my blog entries that I wouldn't even know where to begin.
Now, even after I took the time looking for great places to write, how to write ( I usually prefer writing with a pen and paper rather than a computer), had my fair share of milk tea and procrastinating, I still haven't written a decent thought. What to write about? That was the second hardest question of the day (will tell you about the hardest question later). So it seems like a great idea to evade the question altogether and just...write. About me, about why I'm putting up this blog, and why I finally had the courage to share it. I don't know which is more awkward, writing this blog, or doing the "introduce yourself" part which I was never good at, at any point in my life.
Before anything else, let me clarify that I this blog is not in any way related to The Starter Wife novel turned miniseries starring Debra Messing, nor is my story or current status similar to the plot in that show. If I'm not mistaken, that series was a savvy comedy about life after divorce. On the contrary, I have just gotten married and I vow to stay married with my husband forever. So why name my blog "The Starter Wife"?
Well, it feels like I'm at a point in my life where a lot of things are starting. Like there's a whole new me that I'm trying to discover. New challenges, new experiences. I just got married, just turned 25, which is considered a real adult age. I read in an article that this season is about becoming. And while who or what kind of person I want to become is not really clear-cut with me yet, I know I have great potential in becoming a good one. And I will find out someday soon. So I want to document it as much as I could. I know it will be fun.
I joined a fitness club two days ago. I used to be very anti-gym. I just didn't find it appealing honestly, with all the manly equipment and expensive charges. I was satisfied with skipping rope and boxing. But I needed a strong motivation to help me lose the unwanted pounds. So I enrolled. The joining fee was quite steep if you ask me. So I need to go at least three times a week to make sure I get my money's worth. Two days into the fitness zone and I realized it can actually be exciting if you just open yourself to everything they offer. I plan to go often and try out all the classes.
Just this morning, I resigned from my job. It was a job I found easy and rewarding. It's not a job I truly love, but keeps me compensated enough to make me stay with it, especially now that the holidays are drawing near. Then why did I quit? Because I feel that a surge of good things are coming my way and I can't let anything hold me back. And for the first time, I sincerely felt that someone has got my back. I've had a lot of okay jobs before and whenever I feel like I'm ready to go after what I love and step out of my comfort zones, something comes up that makes me hold back and say "not yet." Maybe the need to be employed and be part of a system, maybe the need to save up for a rainy day. So I take an okay job after another. When I learned that I will be joining my husband in Abu Dhabi, I thought, maybe the next months is meant for me to reunite myself and my loves - my husband, Alexis, writing, and events. But things came up and my trip will be delayed. So I thought, okay, I have to go back to the cycle and earn for a few months more. But hubby said it was okay if I did not want to continue working there anymore, since it wasn't my field anyway. Should I resign? - that was the hardest question I had to answer today. I hesitated because I still wanted to earn and not be a burden to him. But he said that it's okay. He'll take care of it. So for now, I can help out on some events on the side and pro-bono, and resume writing, which is my first love.
So even though I have put my trust in him from the very start (otherwise, we wouldn't be married now), this whole moving to another country and letting go of work has introduced me to a whole new level of trusting my husband. Trusting another person. It's new to me, because I have always considered myself as self-sufficient. Even when I am in-between jobs, as much as possible, I try to earn my own money, solve my own problems. I usually don't rely on other people to get the job done. Okay, I usually don't trust other people. But there's something in my husband that makes me feel secure. It was hard for me to let go of the option to support myself through work, but I have never felt like this before. Like I can be sure someone has my back for a decision I have made; when I can be myself and that person will not judge me, leave me and will stand by me no matter what. Like I can cry my heart out to him and he won't take it against me. It's very liberating. So this blog would never have started without his blessing. If he wouldn't have told me it's okay. Since I've been with my husband, I have evolved into a completely different person. Slowly, I am learning to let my guard down. Tell jokes, laugh at my mistakes, look silly and not take myself too seriously. He makes me strong and he makes me crazy and brave.
Okay, by now, you would have noticed that my style of writing is very transparent, tongue-in-cheek, and bordering on cheesy. I think it's all part of my "charm" as a writer-slash-blogger. I hope you find it enjoyable though, but tell me if I'm being extremely cheesy.
So what is this blog about, really? Well, this is me moving on from my Here Cams the Bride blog, and just about me and my misadventures as a young wife. The paths that I will take to reach my fitness goals. The trials that I will come across to learn the ropes to being domesticated. Soon, my experiences as a young Pinay wife in the Middle East. All for the love of a guy ;) oh, and my sister suggested that I review some items from time to time too.
I am excited. Because it is the first time I feel like I can try anything, and will rely on myself domestically, but rely on other people too. On my husband, because I will officially be under his care when we go to Abu Dhabi, and the Lord of course, because I am completely entrusting to Him everything that will happen next.
So who knows? Maybe the next thing I will write about is how I will ace washing my clothes (or ruining it), how I perfectly cooked my first lutong-bahay like Sinigang or Adobo (or if it tastes like perfect crap), or how fun my belly-dancing/hip-hop class went, or the next laundry detergent that you should try. The possibilities are endless! which makes writing all the more exciting for me :) I can't wait to share everything with you (whoever you are, I just like sharing) so I hope you stick around ;)
**sorry if the first entry was too long, will try to edit for the next few ones :)
Special thanks to those who made a bid to read my blog; my friends Ecka and Kissy, my sister Katherine and my hubby Alexis :)
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