(written in February)
Sometimes when I'm done with my chores and duties as a devoted wife and have (more than) a few hours to spare, I watch chick flicks. And watching the heroines glam themselves up in their perfect hair, toned bodies and fabulous careers, I can't help but look back on my "glory days." I may not really have that perfect hair, body and a successful career, but I know that I've lived. I miss that... The feeling of being an empowered woman. Of course my husband respects my femininity, but that's not what I mean.
It's just that, at times I feel really guilty being on my husband's case all the time. I hang out with him, even if its just basketball practice. I'm used to hanging out with guys, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a bad mood because I don't feel pretty and I feel insecure. I have a limited wardrobe here, and I haven't even visited a salon ever since we arrived here in Abu Dhabi.
I guess I just miss being a girl; prettifying myself, taking care of my body, doing girly things like fashion and gossip. But most of all, I miss having a girlfriend around. C'mon. Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, what is common among the three? When they have a dilemma in their homes or in their relationships, they just call their girls out, kick back their heels, unwind and dish out their problems, over-analyze things and come up with silly theories. They just talk nonstop over coffee, or cocktails, without even pointing a finger to a solution. Just as long as they let it out of their systems, they're good. That's what girls do.
I miss my girlfriends right now. Especially my homegirls (consisting of my sister, my cousin, my bff and closest girlfriends). I miss trying on outfits for parties or concerts followed by a sleepover and brunch, where we mindlessly talk of fun things over and over again while sampling desserts, feeling equally guilty and indulgent. I miss doing our regular beauty routines like a wax every month and mani-pedi every other week. I miss that I can go on and on with my talking and they won't take it against me (guys do that) and not judge me because they know me as me, and not just as this guy's wife (which is how most people know me here in Abu Dhabi). Most of all, I just miss being with them; how their loud catty comebacks, the sarcasm, wit, and their fun-loving vibes rub off on me. And I still want a part of them with me here. If I can just bring them here with me...
I want to be that girl, the girl that I was before moving here. Girly, fun-loving, easygoing, I'd like to say witty instead of sarcastic and mean. But honestly, I don't know if I can pull that off here. I have no girlfriend to give me a boost, a wink and a pep talk. It's amazing how being with a girl can do to another girl's confidence.
But this place is full of surprises. Who knows? There might be someone who's looking too, and who will appreciate a pal or a shopping buddy like me. I'll just do my best to attract that person and then I'll finally have my Abu Dhabi girl friend and we'll have some much fun.
Well, in that case, maybe the glory days are here to stay.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Crazy in Abu Dhabi
(written last January 31, 2011)
And so the journey has begun. It's only been more than a week since me and my husband arrived in the beautiful land of Abu Dhabi, and already, my heart is bursting with stories to tell.
The past week has been a period of adjusting to this new city, new house, new people. To be completely honest, I'm still not done adjusting to this place. Its not like Sex and the City 2 where I'm off to a week-long vacation in an exotic location, my stay here can be classified as, well, semi-permanent. I'm now living here with my husband who has a full-time work, keeping our little studio-type home and later on, I'll be looking for a job myself. It's the real expat thing going on, which is why it's taking quite some time for me to settle in.
No doubt about it, the place is beautiful. It's modern and clean. It's like an even more well-kept version of The Fort, Rockwell, Makati and Subic. It's quite breathtaking especially at night when you pass by the Grand Mosque and its all lit up. Other Pinoys tell me that I'm lucky to have arrived here when its winter. The breeze is cold, especially at night. During the day its mostly bright and sunny, but the heat is tolerable so it's okay. Wait til summer comes, they warn me. Hopefully, I'll be staying in a well-ventilated room or office by that time.
I've already been to four or five different malls and several supermarkets. Quite a record, if you ask my husband. He told me that he waited months to be able to go to the mall when he first arrived. And here I am. The malls here are nice. Probably not as big as Megamall or not as homey as Alabang Town Center (awwh, I miss!), but they're pretty advanced and more secured. And then there's IKEA, where my eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. All the things I wanted to get! For our home, my parent's house, our future house...yes, to borrow Carrie's words, I've been cheating on fashion with furniture. I could go on and on with the nice shops I spotted here, but really, they had me at IKEA.
I'll never trade Manila for any place, but for the meantime, I think this place can work. What I miss about Manila though, aside from the people, is how carefree and independent I am there. I can go anywhere by myself without worry because I'm confident that I'll always find my way. I'm streetwise by Manila standards. Here I've managed to go to some places riding a taxi. But of course, it's so typical me to get lost in a new place. I was on my way home from the nearest grocery when that happened. 3 days into my stay. Honestly, my heart was beating faster than it ever did. I almost cried, except I was afraid I'd attract more attention. Locals were already blowing their horns as they drove by. I get kinda scared when that happens. Once I was walking to the supermarket when an old man drove past me but stopped at the end of the street, as if waiting for me. All I could do was say, "no,no,no..." and walk as fast as I could away from his car. I don't know if it's the language barrier, my husband's protective nature that made me assume the worst in them, or my overly wild imagination that made me so afraid to roam the streets by myself. My paranoia levels rose twice here than when I was in Manila.
But when I met with my close pal and high school seatmate, she reassured me that Abu Dhabi is a safe place and I need not be afraid. She has been working as a flight attendant for three years now and is currently based here in Abu Dhabi. I was amazed at how she and her flatmate, also a girl, conversed with the taxi driver without a hint of fear in their voices. She said it takes a lot of getting used to, but the people are generally nice. And if I ever encounter one that is rude, all I have to do is threaten to call the police and they would back off. They react well to authorities here, so I heard. Another thing that makes me miss my beloved Philippines, family ties is power. Everybody knows somebody in a certain place, working for a certain group. So when things go wrong, I just drop a few names, or call people who can help in case of an emergency. It's security, knowing that anywhere I am in Manila, I have a friend on-call. Here, the only person on-call 24/7 for me is my husband. So as a sign of being vigilant, I have the police department's hotline stored in my phonebook.
Being new in this city has made me appreciate my faith more. Everyday, when the hubby has left for work, my prayerbooks are my constant companions in the house. I'd spend the entire morning praying. Here in a place where I have no one but my husband to turn to, I am at peace and secure that the Lord is with us all the time, everywhere I go.
It's also fun to think of all the things that could happen to me and Babe while we're here. All the possibilities. All the jobs I could have, the people we could meet, the places we could go to and the things we could do. Here, it's possible for a middle-class Filipino to drive an expensive car, live in a semi-luxurious villa, eat at fancy restaurants, buy gadgets and designer things. Anything is possible. But your riches or status in the Philippines won't have any bearing here. What matters here is hard work. If you want something, you really have to earn it. The good news is, if you work and try hard enough, you'll most probably get it. Back home, you have to work day and night and it seems like life isn't getting any better, and you have to work for years before you earn the fruits of your labor.
I never considered myself that much of a hard worker before, but now I'm very inspired to become one. And okay, I might buy designer shades and have a few splurges at Ikea (the closet I've been fantasizing about!), but my main goal is for Babe and I to save faster for the house in the South of Manila, put up a business, make a few investments for the future and then we can be home for good, where we will raise our kids and grow old together. No designer bag or high-end furniture store or expat living can replace being in your own country with the presence of your family. When I think of all the trials and sacrifices that we would have to go through, I think about the future and know that it will be worth the wait.
But for now, I'll take it one step, one day at a time. I know I'll find the courage inside me to make it through the day. Soon when I have fully adjusted, I'll have stories to tell about Abu Dhabi and the many ways I will discover this city.
And so the journey has begun. It's only been more than a week since me and my husband arrived in the beautiful land of Abu Dhabi, and already, my heart is bursting with stories to tell.
The past week has been a period of adjusting to this new city, new house, new people. To be completely honest, I'm still not done adjusting to this place. Its not like Sex and the City 2 where I'm off to a week-long vacation in an exotic location, my stay here can be classified as, well, semi-permanent. I'm now living here with my husband who has a full-time work, keeping our little studio-type home and later on, I'll be looking for a job myself. It's the real expat thing going on, which is why it's taking quite some time for me to settle in.
No doubt about it, the place is beautiful. It's modern and clean. It's like an even more well-kept version of The Fort, Rockwell, Makati and Subic. It's quite breathtaking especially at night when you pass by the Grand Mosque and its all lit up. Other Pinoys tell me that I'm lucky to have arrived here when its winter. The breeze is cold, especially at night. During the day its mostly bright and sunny, but the heat is tolerable so it's okay. Wait til summer comes, they warn me. Hopefully, I'll be staying in a well-ventilated room or office by that time.
I've already been to four or five different malls and several supermarkets. Quite a record, if you ask my husband. He told me that he waited months to be able to go to the mall when he first arrived. And here I am. The malls here are nice. Probably not as big as Megamall or not as homey as Alabang Town Center (awwh, I miss!), but they're pretty advanced and more secured. And then there's IKEA, where my eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. All the things I wanted to get! For our home, my parent's house, our future house...yes, to borrow Carrie's words, I've been cheating on fashion with furniture. I could go on and on with the nice shops I spotted here, but really, they had me at IKEA.
I'll never trade Manila for any place, but for the meantime, I think this place can work. What I miss about Manila though, aside from the people, is how carefree and independent I am there. I can go anywhere by myself without worry because I'm confident that I'll always find my way. I'm streetwise by Manila standards. Here I've managed to go to some places riding a taxi. But of course, it's so typical me to get lost in a new place. I was on my way home from the nearest grocery when that happened. 3 days into my stay. Honestly, my heart was beating faster than it ever did. I almost cried, except I was afraid I'd attract more attention. Locals were already blowing their horns as they drove by. I get kinda scared when that happens. Once I was walking to the supermarket when an old man drove past me but stopped at the end of the street, as if waiting for me. All I could do was say, "no,no,no..." and walk as fast as I could away from his car. I don't know if it's the language barrier, my husband's protective nature that made me assume the worst in them, or my overly wild imagination that made me so afraid to roam the streets by myself. My paranoia levels rose twice here than when I was in Manila.
But when I met with my close pal and high school seatmate, she reassured me that Abu Dhabi is a safe place and I need not be afraid. She has been working as a flight attendant for three years now and is currently based here in Abu Dhabi. I was amazed at how she and her flatmate, also a girl, conversed with the taxi driver without a hint of fear in their voices. She said it takes a lot of getting used to, but the people are generally nice. And if I ever encounter one that is rude, all I have to do is threaten to call the police and they would back off. They react well to authorities here, so I heard. Another thing that makes me miss my beloved Philippines, family ties is power. Everybody knows somebody in a certain place, working for a certain group. So when things go wrong, I just drop a few names, or call people who can help in case of an emergency. It's security, knowing that anywhere I am in Manila, I have a friend on-call. Here, the only person on-call 24/7 for me is my husband. So as a sign of being vigilant, I have the police department's hotline stored in my phonebook.
Being new in this city has made me appreciate my faith more. Everyday, when the hubby has left for work, my prayerbooks are my constant companions in the house. I'd spend the entire morning praying. Here in a place where I have no one but my husband to turn to, I am at peace and secure that the Lord is with us all the time, everywhere I go.
It's also fun to think of all the things that could happen to me and Babe while we're here. All the possibilities. All the jobs I could have, the people we could meet, the places we could go to and the things we could do. Here, it's possible for a middle-class Filipino to drive an expensive car, live in a semi-luxurious villa, eat at fancy restaurants, buy gadgets and designer things. Anything is possible. But your riches or status in the Philippines won't have any bearing here. What matters here is hard work. If you want something, you really have to earn it. The good news is, if you work and try hard enough, you'll most probably get it. Back home, you have to work day and night and it seems like life isn't getting any better, and you have to work for years before you earn the fruits of your labor.
I never considered myself that much of a hard worker before, but now I'm very inspired to become one. And okay, I might buy designer shades and have a few splurges at Ikea (the closet I've been fantasizing about!), but my main goal is for Babe and I to save faster for the house in the South of Manila, put up a business, make a few investments for the future and then we can be home for good, where we will raise our kids and grow old together. No designer bag or high-end furniture store or expat living can replace being in your own country with the presence of your family. When I think of all the trials and sacrifices that we would have to go through, I think about the future and know that it will be worth the wait.
But for now, I'll take it one step, one day at a time. I know I'll find the courage inside me to make it through the day. Soon when I have fully adjusted, I'll have stories to tell about Abu Dhabi and the many ways I will discover this city.
Marriage on my mind (written 01-11-11)
I know I'm not the first one to ever admit that marriage is hard. I think it is even believed to be an established fact. Of course it doesn't change that it's also one of the most wonderful things ever created.
But still, why does it have to be effin' difficult? You have to give up some things that when gone, you never thought it would affect you.
Like time for instance. I relish every time that I have with Babe, I still do. So I never imagined that having a shared time would be a challenge for us because we enjoy each other's company a lot. I never thought I'd be missing "me-time", being quiet with just myself, my thoughts, my journals and books. Now that we're permanent roommates I always have to be aware that there's another person in the room. I miss being able to decide what to do with my time and with whom I will spend the day with. Now I always need to check with my husband's schedule and get his approval on what we want to do for the day. I never thought I would miss those days. Now I get what they say about the freedom you have when you're single.
Another thing is that clash of personalities, mindset and culture. Sometimes no matter how we try to understand and make way for each other, we are just too different, we don't see things the same way and we don't agree on some beliefs. It's almost like we have irreconcilable differences. It's hard when no matter how much we explain our side, the other one would still not see the point. Both sides equally guilty of this. It's almost like it's unnatural for two unique individuals to live together.
I think I've heard it somewhere before, that the things or qualities that attracted you to your partner when you started dating will be the things that you will find irritating when you're already living together. I find myself agreeing to that statement at times. When we started out, I loved that Babe's so simple. He's happy just being at home, sleeping or watching TV. Now his simplicity and being such a homebody drives me nuts. He's always watching something on the television, even when we're having meals. It makes me crazy sometimes. But most times when I'm not busy being annoyed at his quirks, I see him concentrating mending the tear on his pants, or reading a magazine learning about kitchen appliances, I can't help but think he's perfect and for the nth time I wonder, how did I get so lucky?
Okay, so we've established that marriage is hard. so why do people still go through with it? Because true love's a blessing. It should be celebrated, and it should be encouraged. Marriage strengthens the love between two people. To understand each other more, keep trying, and stay together despite those irreconcilable differences, forgive and accept each other totally. It's not for those who are ready to drop things at the first sign of danger.
Lately, my husband and I are discovering more things about each other. Sometimes we would argue, and we would just be cool about it, not making a big deal out of the argument. We would agree to disagree. It's forgiveness without saying a word. It's amazing how we understand now, that this is just a petty fight or disagreement, let's get over it and move on with our happy life. Just like that. I never thought I'd be capable of doing that, but now I know that I am.
Simply put, I think that marriage is as great and wonderful as it is hard. So what would I do if it gets harder from here on? Knowing that it also means awesome times ahead, well, bring it on. I'm not one to quit.
But still, why does it have to be effin' difficult? You have to give up some things that when gone, you never thought it would affect you.
Like time for instance. I relish every time that I have with Babe, I still do. So I never imagined that having a shared time would be a challenge for us because we enjoy each other's company a lot. I never thought I'd be missing "me-time", being quiet with just myself, my thoughts, my journals and books. Now that we're permanent roommates I always have to be aware that there's another person in the room. I miss being able to decide what to do with my time and with whom I will spend the day with. Now I always need to check with my husband's schedule and get his approval on what we want to do for the day. I never thought I would miss those days. Now I get what they say about the freedom you have when you're single.
Another thing is that clash of personalities, mindset and culture. Sometimes no matter how we try to understand and make way for each other, we are just too different, we don't see things the same way and we don't agree on some beliefs. It's almost like we have irreconcilable differences. It's hard when no matter how much we explain our side, the other one would still not see the point. Both sides equally guilty of this. It's almost like it's unnatural for two unique individuals to live together.
I think I've heard it somewhere before, that the things or qualities that attracted you to your partner when you started dating will be the things that you will find irritating when you're already living together. I find myself agreeing to that statement at times. When we started out, I loved that Babe's so simple. He's happy just being at home, sleeping or watching TV. Now his simplicity and being such a homebody drives me nuts. He's always watching something on the television, even when we're having meals. It makes me crazy sometimes. But most times when I'm not busy being annoyed at his quirks, I see him concentrating mending the tear on his pants, or reading a magazine learning about kitchen appliances, I can't help but think he's perfect and for the nth time I wonder, how did I get so lucky?
Okay, so we've established that marriage is hard. so why do people still go through with it? Because true love's a blessing. It should be celebrated, and it should be encouraged. Marriage strengthens the love between two people. To understand each other more, keep trying, and stay together despite those irreconcilable differences, forgive and accept each other totally. It's not for those who are ready to drop things at the first sign of danger.
Lately, my husband and I are discovering more things about each other. Sometimes we would argue, and we would just be cool about it, not making a big deal out of the argument. We would agree to disagree. It's forgiveness without saying a word. It's amazing how we understand now, that this is just a petty fight or disagreement, let's get over it and move on with our happy life. Just like that. I never thought I'd be capable of doing that, but now I know that I am.
Simply put, I think that marriage is as great and wonderful as it is hard. So what would I do if it gets harder from here on? Knowing that it also means awesome times ahead, well, bring it on. I'm not one to quit.
Monday, April 11, 2011
And I'm back!
I can't believe that I'm blogging. And I'm here in Abu Dhabi.
Finally, after two months of being MIA from the worldwide web and the blogosphere, I'm finally here again. It wasn't easy not having this space for almost 3 months. I kept etching great thoughts in my head, but they just always seem to disappear when I get preoccuppied with domestic stuff.
Aahh, if only you could know the feeling of not having any communication other than the mobile phone, being teary-eyed and smiling at the thought of having an internet connection where I can finally have news about my country, know what's happening to my family and friends, and finally, being able to blog again. To be able to share my thoughts and experiences.
Most of the time it felt like living in a cave, but several good things came out of this long break from the internet, TV, social life and blogging. I had a lot of time to read and write. I survived with the truckload of books that I hand-carried in the plane and my journals. So I didn't come back empty handed; I have several entries to post in the coming days and I hope they would entertain any readers like writing entertained me for the past months.
I also spent my time here catching up on all domestic things that I have been putting off when I was in Manila. Now I'm proud to report that I already am a domesticated goddess, somehow. I shopped for groceries, cooked, did the laundry, cleaned the house, etc. Before I thought I can never do it, but here I am now :)
Anyway, I have to go sleep now, but tomorrow, I will overwhelm this space with my entries. So if you ever decide to read them, keep in mind that they will be long. I can't wait to start!
Dizzizit!!!
Finally, after two months of being MIA from the worldwide web and the blogosphere, I'm finally here again. It wasn't easy not having this space for almost 3 months. I kept etching great thoughts in my head, but they just always seem to disappear when I get preoccuppied with domestic stuff.
Aahh, if only you could know the feeling of not having any communication other than the mobile phone, being teary-eyed and smiling at the thought of having an internet connection where I can finally have news about my country, know what's happening to my family and friends, and finally, being able to blog again. To be able to share my thoughts and experiences.
Most of the time it felt like living in a cave, but several good things came out of this long break from the internet, TV, social life and blogging. I had a lot of time to read and write. I survived with the truckload of books that I hand-carried in the plane and my journals. So I didn't come back empty handed; I have several entries to post in the coming days and I hope they would entertain any readers like writing entertained me for the past months.
I also spent my time here catching up on all domestic things that I have been putting off when I was in Manila. Now I'm proud to report that I already am a domesticated goddess, somehow. I shopped for groceries, cooked, did the laundry, cleaned the house, etc. Before I thought I can never do it, but here I am now :)
Anyway, I have to go sleep now, but tomorrow, I will overwhelm this space with my entries. So if you ever decide to read them, keep in mind that they will be long. I can't wait to start!
Dizzizit!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)