(freestyle writing for the second time today.)
I just had to blog about it, to get it off my chest. One guy already won the 6/55 Lotto Jackpot of more than seven hundred million pesos, leaving the rest of the betting millions to their wishful thinking, dreams shattered. I am one of those who had my dreams lined up and ready just in case luck knocks on my door. For a few weeks, those dreams that I had seemed only one ticket away, now it feels like lightyears.
So just to humor myself, and prove that I would have been a great lotto winner, here are some plans that I have thought of if I won the 700 million peso jackpot:
1. First thing would be to arrange my UAE visa, and buy a ticket to Abu Dhabi to fetch my husband, or pay off the remaining months in his contract and buy him a ticket back to the Philippines. Which ever way is faster for us to be together. Then off to Santorini or Bellarocca in Marinduque while we brainstorm the best way to use the money.
2. Donate a portion to our country's elementary and secondary education funds;
3. Build public libraries in every state in the country, with wifi, desktop computers and online educational materials for students age one to 100;
4. Donate a portion to a feeding program for children;
5. Build luxurious and CLEAN bathrooms for every stop in the country;
Without stating the obvious, some personal actions:
6. Give a portion to our church;
7. Give a portion to our families;
8. Educational plans for my nephews, nieces, little cousins and our helpers' kids;
9. Make a GK Basketball Team for the PBA. The lineup, of course, would include my husband, my baby brother and young men they deem worthy to fulfill their dreams as basketball players; and form a summer basketball camp for underpriviledged youth and kids.
Of course, I will need to invest in several businesses:
10. Jollibee franchise;
11. Stocks and mutual funds;
12. A beach front property - one for a resthouse and another for a boutique hotel;
13. A boutique hotel in Tagaytay, or Antipolo;
14. A grand and posh events place in Las Pinas or Alabang;
What's funny is that for the hotels, and event place, I can already picture it in my mind. What to name it, who will do the interior design, who will manage it, can you believe that? :P
Other things I would do that might have a few merits:
15. Shoulder the wedding expenses of one of our favorite couple friends and buy the necessary equipments and vehicle for their business;
16. Arrange US Visas and take my whole family to the States to visit our relatives there, and watch NBA live with hubby and my boys;
Maybe I could go on and on but the truth is, the prize money isn't mine anyway. So why waste time on thinking what might have been? Someday I'll have the money or the means to fulfill these things, maybe not all in one go, or maybe not all of it, but I will find a way to fulfill some of these. Baby steps. But it requires patience, hardwork and a lot of prayers. It's okay, I'll wait. Right now I'll enjoy the great life that I have, sometimes penniless, but I don't even need a single penny to be happy and I have a million reasons to smile about everyday.
So if I was the winner, I would want the rest of the hopefuls to be happy for me. So I hope and pray that whoever he is, whatever it is that he's thinking right now is that he's happy. And of course, I hope he helps a lot of people and puts the money to good use.
And with that... I guess that's it. Congratulations to that unbelievably lucky guy. To the rest of us, let's move on and continue to pursue our dreams and pray that someday we get the things that we have been wishing for.
Now that that lot is off my chest and I don't have to worry about winning hundreds of millions tomorrow, I can sleep well tonight. :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Jealousy
(I'm freestyling here, so please tolerate grammatical errors if there would be any.)
Jealousy.
It can take up a lot of time and worrying. To keep up with being jealous you have to constantly monitor your partner's activities and the people he's seeing to the point where you have to do it behind his back. You would spend endless nights over-analyzing things that are usually unimportant. Borrowing words from the movie Moulin Rouge, jealousy can drive you mad. And that is the part about falling in love that's the ugliest.
So you can either let jealousy eat you up and destroy your relationship in the long run, or you can confront it. Six months into my marriage and six years into my relationship, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I still have jealousy attacks from time to time. My husband being a baller, he gets admiration from the opposite sex and sometimes from the same sex. Which is why I feel a tinge of jealousy for the girls who can cheer him on or for their team during their games and a bit apprehensive when he's on basketball mode. The thought of an attractive, voluptuous woman throwing herself at my sweaty husband after an intense game drives me crazy. Yes, I have an overactive imagination. While my husband, a self-confessed late bloomer, can be so clueless about women and their subtle flirtation, I know all about it. I've seen it all in my day, having girl friends, gay friends, having three brothers and being one of the boys. I've studied women and sexual innuendo like the back of my hand. So while he can be all-friendly and non-malicious about it when being approached by a woman, there's a war-freak amazon inside me that just wants to hash out.
However, confessing that I have jealous and violent tendencies does not mean that I am not doing anything about it. In fact, I have learned to keep it at bay and to the point that it is tolerable. Getting into boxing has helped me with my aggression issues, but what has been really helpful is the reality that my husband is not like most guys. In our six years of being together, he has not strayed or ever gave me a reason to doubt him. Everyday, he proves to me that I am his one and only.
My husband knows that I have a jealous streak, but instead of freaking out and going ballistic on how incredibly wild and pointless my imagination can be, he knows how to control my emotions and he knows what exactly to say to encourage the trusting side of me. Whenever he senses that the jealous Cams is slowly sneaking in, he'll say something like, "tell me if you don't want me to leave and I'll stay here." He asks me if I'm worried about something and he'll find the words to reassure me that I have nothing to worry about. That's when I find my core and learn to give in to trust and faith again.
Honestly, I don't know when I'll be completely jealousy-free, but my baby steps are working so far, and when the time finally comes that I'll be with my hubby 24/7, I'm sure I will soon be healed.
Jealousy.
It can take up a lot of time and worrying. To keep up with being jealous you have to constantly monitor your partner's activities and the people he's seeing to the point where you have to do it behind his back. You would spend endless nights over-analyzing things that are usually unimportant. Borrowing words from the movie Moulin Rouge, jealousy can drive you mad. And that is the part about falling in love that's the ugliest.
So you can either let jealousy eat you up and destroy your relationship in the long run, or you can confront it. Six months into my marriage and six years into my relationship, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I still have jealousy attacks from time to time. My husband being a baller, he gets admiration from the opposite sex and sometimes from the same sex. Which is why I feel a tinge of jealousy for the girls who can cheer him on or for their team during their games and a bit apprehensive when he's on basketball mode. The thought of an attractive, voluptuous woman throwing herself at my sweaty husband after an intense game drives me crazy. Yes, I have an overactive imagination. While my husband, a self-confessed late bloomer, can be so clueless about women and their subtle flirtation, I know all about it. I've seen it all in my day, having girl friends, gay friends, having three brothers and being one of the boys. I've studied women and sexual innuendo like the back of my hand. So while he can be all-friendly and non-malicious about it when being approached by a woman, there's a war-freak amazon inside me that just wants to hash out.
However, confessing that I have jealous and violent tendencies does not mean that I am not doing anything about it. In fact, I have learned to keep it at bay and to the point that it is tolerable. Getting into boxing has helped me with my aggression issues, but what has been really helpful is the reality that my husband is not like most guys. In our six years of being together, he has not strayed or ever gave me a reason to doubt him. Everyday, he proves to me that I am his one and only.
My husband knows that I have a jealous streak, but instead of freaking out and going ballistic on how incredibly wild and pointless my imagination can be, he knows how to control my emotions and he knows what exactly to say to encourage the trusting side of me. Whenever he senses that the jealous Cams is slowly sneaking in, he'll say something like, "tell me if you don't want me to leave and I'll stay here." He asks me if I'm worried about something and he'll find the words to reassure me that I have nothing to worry about. That's when I find my core and learn to give in to trust and faith again.
Honestly, I don't know when I'll be completely jealousy-free, but my baby steps are working so far, and when the time finally comes that I'll be with my hubby 24/7, I'm sure I will soon be healed.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Here’s an entry about luuurve (wink,wink)
About heartbreak, the bad boy versus the good boy, the one who got away and the real deal about all this…
I realized I’m not really an expert on the subject, I have quite a limited experience compared to other girls (yes, I got lucky), but I want to write about LOVE. Indulge me.
Heartbreak and Jumping off a Cliff
Several reasons why I decided to write about the topic. 1) It’s the first time that my only sister got heartbroken. Yes, she might have been disheartened many times, but it’s her first major heartbreak. What’s the difference between the two, you ask. Being disheartened is like looking at a certain cliff but before you jump, you realize that the view or the experience is not worth it, or it’s not for you. So you change your mind, walk away and keep yourself from getting hurt. Being heartbroken is jumping off the cliff without a helmet or a harness, head on or butt first thinking that somebody will catch you but instead no one does and you fall on your face. That’s when it really hurts. But having come from heartbreaks quite a few times before, I think it’s quite healthy to have your heart broken at least once. It really does make you stronger; makes you see what you, and love, is capable of doing. It’s better to be heartbroken so early on in the game when you can still get up, try to laugh at your mistakes and learn from them. I was never the typical big sister to my siblings, giving advice. I just let them experience things for themselves. So I just let her wallow in her miseries, have her own ‘emo’ moments, listening to heartbreak songs and crying herself to sleep as this will lead her to discover herself more. If you ask me, it looks like she’s moving on pretty well and getting over quite easily. She always does things in a faster pace than me.
Good vs. Bad and The One that Got Away
I finished reading a book today, Love the One You’re With by Emily Giffin. To summarize, the catching phrase was something like this: “If you can’t forget the one who got away, can you… love the one you’re with?” I liked the story, but I especially loved the ending; exactly how I wanted it to end. I wouldn’t spoil it for you, but you will probably have an idea after reading what I wrote.
Well, I guess we are all fascinated with unrequited love. The intrigue and excitement of it all; which is basically why we are always drawn to it.
At one point in our lives, we have been in love or attracted to a bad boy (or girl); if for some reason they are in our past, we might have referred to them as ‘the one that got away’. The one with whom we spent so much time and energy chasing, pleasing and crying over. They are usually the lead stars in these stories but in my case, unromantic as it may seem, I always root for the good guys. The ones they describe as ‘predictable’ or ‘boring.’
Notice that when a bad boy does one, even just one nice thing for a girl, one bold move or a public declaration and she falls head over heels for him, never mind the fact that he treats her like crap the rest of the time. However, women hardly notice when a good guy is trying to be romantic. They don’t care if the guy is kind, sweet, faithful and honest to them all the time. They just assume it’s normal. The thing that irritates me more about this is when a good guy screws up just one time, the girls always say things like “I knew it right from the start, he was too good to be true…” and come running back to their bad boys.
The bad boy image and girls being attracted to dangerous men is so overrated. What I always find sexy is commitment. Guys who are afraid to commit to someone are wusses and cowards. Such invertebrates. They do not have the backbone to stand up for something they want and clearly benefit from. Real men are those who are not afraid to lose, get hurt and become vulnerable.
I know it sounds so practical and less-thrilling, but I still believe it’s romantic to be in love with a good guy. I’ve crossed the bridge and switched sides a long long time ago. But I know that other girls find it hard to do so. Sadly, some women I know are still together with their “bad boy” boyfriends, waiting for them to grow-up, see the light and I dunno, magically change? (of course, I'm being sarcastic) Or in reality, sometimes the exterior is deceiving. He seemed like a good boy, you thought he was a good boy, but he treats you real bad.
The Real Deal
The second reason that pushed me to write about love is because I recently spoke with a guy from my distant past. And there aren’t a lot of guys in my little black book (I really don’t have a little black book, I just need to say that I have one to prove a point) to make comparison of, but if there was someone with whom I shared an intense kind of relationship with before my husband, this guy would be it. He was the closest I had to a complicated, tortured, messed-up, you-and-me-against-the-world kind of love. A bad boy with a rockstar life. I used to write stories about him. I almost messed up school and my social life because of him. It was this ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ thing that kept me on my toes. Yes, it was fun, but there are times when the complications, the uncertainty of it all would eat me up. Honestly, it drained the life out of me. I would feel exhausted just fighting fate and proving to people that we could work it out. It was such a dark phase, and I was alone in the fight.
Fast forward to now, we are great buddies, both of us happily married. What can I say? I stopped fighting fate, started giving in to destiny and life worked out. I still like talking to him from time to time though. The casualness and friendliness of our conversations make me realize how far we’ve come. How far I’ve come; I used to feel so low but chose to get up and now I’m on a permanent high with the love of my life. The guy from my past is in a good place now too. Sometimes I’d like to think that when he lost me, he realized that he won’t get someone as great as me again if he doesn’t straighten up his ways. That was my last wish for him anyway. That he finds someone who will make his life better. I guess, he wasn’t really a bad boy. We were two good people; we were just not right for each other.
I guess my whole point is, that’s the thing with love. One second you’re so down and you think you will never get over heartbreak, then somebody comes and shakes up your whole world and suddenly you understand why it didn’t work out with the previous ones. Look how far I’ve come. When I got together with my husband, I felt shiny and new. Like I was unscathed, like the heartbreaks that came before didn’t really matter and the one who got away became a myth. Before we got married, he didn’t even demand to see my diary, or cared about my past. All he cares about is me, our present and future. He is someone who is sure of himself and his intentions. He excites me and sometimes drives me crazy like a bad boy, but is committed and faithful and loving as no other good guy can be. Because the real deal is that true love need not be hard. It’s usually simple and comes in win-win situations. Life is too short, so stop messing around with those bad boys. It's either they love you or they don't. Be with the one who chooses to love you, and fall in love with him over and over again.
new title, improved look
As much as I want to, I'm not great at writing about the home. Domestic stuff I mean. While I try to do them once in a while, it's really not me. Thus, I decided to change the name and focus of my blog. On my journey to rediscovering myself as a writer and finding my voice, I want to write about my passion, the things and people that I love.
It's not that I don't plan on being domestic, I do and I want to learn my way around a house (in fact, I have an upcoming project that includes wood and a can of paint, watch out for that, it's gonna be fun!), but my heart compels me to write about other things, and I really really just need a space, an outlet right now.
I will still write about my misadventures in being a domestic goddess, or about my journey to fitness once in a while, but I will also write about other things. My family, my home, my husband, our adventures together, my take on relationships for instance. And depending on the topic, I shall also post some of my essays on facebook.
So... I guess that's it, we shall see where this road will lead us. Cheers!
It's not that I don't plan on being domestic, I do and I want to learn my way around a house (in fact, I have an upcoming project that includes wood and a can of paint, watch out for that, it's gonna be fun!), but my heart compels me to write about other things, and I really really just need a space, an outlet right now.
I will still write about my misadventures in being a domestic goddess, or about my journey to fitness once in a while, but I will also write about other things. My family, my home, my husband, our adventures together, my take on relationships for instance. And depending on the topic, I shall also post some of my essays on facebook.
So... I guess that's it, we shall see where this road will lead us. Cheers!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
on a writing hiatus
Lately I have been putting off writing again and it sucks. Because I feel like I have all the time in the world, but I would rather go to the gym, read a book, watch TV and recently, sleep than write. Meanwhile, everyone in my household seems to be writing. Our father makes a living and tries changing the world by his legendary writing, my elder brother juggles between acting and writing comedy for TV, my sister, the film student, is working on a script for her thesis, and surprisingly, our baby brother, the hardcore athlete and dancer, is also a budding poet. Our mother and other brother are off the hook from writing because they have more skills than we can ever have, and it will just be so unfair if they can write too.
So that leaves me feeling guilty, because I was, am supposed to be the writer in the family. The one following my father's footsteps (However, I am leaning on following my mother's footsteps as the revolting feminist inside me says that there is nothing degrading in being a housewife). Colleagues, bosses used to refer to me as a gifted writer and sometimes there are situations where I don't even put an effort and I can't help but feel that it comes naturally, but lately, I haven't been doing it - at all.
It sickens me, because writing is my core, my first love, and my life. I pride myself on being a writer. I used to say, "give me and pen and a paper and I'm good." With a matching smug face. Now it's more like "Give me a pen and paper and I freak-out."or I run. As fast as I can. I don't know why. Maybe it's the pressure I give myself that because I have so much time in my hands, I have to write breakthrough pieces. Or since I am so "good", then the next piece that I should write should be dynamic or heart-stopping. But it really doesn't work that way, does it? I am no wonder-kid. I was just a girl who loves to write. Or maybe I still am.
Maybe it's because I'm also struggling and kind of doubting my voice. Every writer has a point of view and I don't know what mine is at the moment. I admire some of my friends' writing style that I can only describe as deep and very literary, where words have hidden meaning and messages that cut through your soul. But I am not a tortured soul so while I admire them, it was never my dream to express myself like that. My father, when he writes, is always inspiring. He writes a song and a whole nation is inspired. My brother writes scripts for comedy and it's usually his take on guy-humor. My sister is slowly becoming one of those writers who make indie films, and our youngest brother might just be the tortured soul in the family, writing about his angst and unrequited love. I realize that I should write a separate story about my father and our family one of these days. So where does that leave me? Former professors describe my writing as very tongue-in-cheek, and I somehow agree with them. I write things and situations as they are, sometimes with sarcasm, but always finding a way to make the truth seem funny and amusing. It's the kind that you find in blogs and chick lit. So... with that said, I don't know if I can ever have a niche here. There are so many writers in the Philippines, so many magazines who talk about girl stuff, I don't know if I can ever be one of them. Maybe I am doomed to just write within the walls of my room.
Or not. Maybe it's time I stop over-analyzing my writing and just do it. That's what I do best anyway - write. What's in my heart, what I feel, what I think is funny. What I love about life. That despite setbacks and challenges in life, there are still some things to smile about. Tongue-in-cheek and romantic bordering on cheesy. And maybe someday, somehow, a girl will take comfort in my writings.
So now, I am immersing myself to as much works of the successful chick lit writers of my generation. I just want to see what made them successful, what made them stand out from the rest. And hopefully someday, I can see my work in line with theirs in Fully Booked. Dream on. So I am currently reading the works of Sophie Kinsella, Candace Bushnell, Meg Cabot, Emily Giffin, but I also will include some Paulo Coelhos and Nicholas Sparks in the mix. I have also thought of taking an indefinite hiatus from this blog, because none of the things that I want to write about would seem to do justice to this blog's title. But then I realized, this is my blog. I can write whatever I want. My space, my rules. This blog entry contradicted what I set off to do anyway.
So, here's to writing. I am inspired, and might spend the whole night writing if I'm lucky.
But now I have to go, I need to hit the gym in a while. And oh, for the benefit of the purpose of this blog, I made a sandwich a while ago. My invention, though it was a no-brainer really. Chicken barbecue sandwich. It was yummy. Chicken breast and barbecue sauce is love ;)
So that leaves me feeling guilty, because I was, am supposed to be the writer in the family. The one following my father's footsteps (However, I am leaning on following my mother's footsteps as the revolting feminist inside me says that there is nothing degrading in being a housewife). Colleagues, bosses used to refer to me as a gifted writer and sometimes there are situations where I don't even put an effort and I can't help but feel that it comes naturally, but lately, I haven't been doing it - at all.
It sickens me, because writing is my core, my first love, and my life. I pride myself on being a writer. I used to say, "give me and pen and a paper and I'm good." With a matching smug face. Now it's more like "Give me a pen and paper and I freak-out."or I run. As fast as I can. I don't know why. Maybe it's the pressure I give myself that because I have so much time in my hands, I have to write breakthrough pieces. Or since I am so "good", then the next piece that I should write should be dynamic or heart-stopping. But it really doesn't work that way, does it? I am no wonder-kid. I was just a girl who loves to write. Or maybe I still am.
Maybe it's because I'm also struggling and kind of doubting my voice. Every writer has a point of view and I don't know what mine is at the moment. I admire some of my friends' writing style that I can only describe as deep and very literary, where words have hidden meaning and messages that cut through your soul. But I am not a tortured soul so while I admire them, it was never my dream to express myself like that. My father, when he writes, is always inspiring. He writes a song and a whole nation is inspired. My brother writes scripts for comedy and it's usually his take on guy-humor. My sister is slowly becoming one of those writers who make indie films, and our youngest brother might just be the tortured soul in the family, writing about his angst and unrequited love. I realize that I should write a separate story about my father and our family one of these days. So where does that leave me? Former professors describe my writing as very tongue-in-cheek, and I somehow agree with them. I write things and situations as they are, sometimes with sarcasm, but always finding a way to make the truth seem funny and amusing. It's the kind that you find in blogs and chick lit. So... with that said, I don't know if I can ever have a niche here. There are so many writers in the Philippines, so many magazines who talk about girl stuff, I don't know if I can ever be one of them. Maybe I am doomed to just write within the walls of my room.
Or not. Maybe it's time I stop over-analyzing my writing and just do it. That's what I do best anyway - write. What's in my heart, what I feel, what I think is funny. What I love about life. That despite setbacks and challenges in life, there are still some things to smile about. Tongue-in-cheek and romantic bordering on cheesy. And maybe someday, somehow, a girl will take comfort in my writings.
So now, I am immersing myself to as much works of the successful chick lit writers of my generation. I just want to see what made them successful, what made them stand out from the rest. And hopefully someday, I can see my work in line with theirs in Fully Booked. Dream on. So I am currently reading the works of Sophie Kinsella, Candace Bushnell, Meg Cabot, Emily Giffin, but I also will include some Paulo Coelhos and Nicholas Sparks in the mix. I have also thought of taking an indefinite hiatus from this blog, because none of the things that I want to write about would seem to do justice to this blog's title. But then I realized, this is my blog. I can write whatever I want. My space, my rules. This blog entry contradicted what I set off to do anyway.
So, here's to writing. I am inspired, and might spend the whole night writing if I'm lucky.
But now I have to go, I need to hit the gym in a while. And oh, for the benefit of the purpose of this blog, I made a sandwich a while ago. My invention, though it was a no-brainer really. Chicken barbecue sandwich. It was yummy. Chicken breast and barbecue sauce is love ;)
Friday, October 22, 2010
On Workout Mode
Aside from helping Mama prepare breakfast (we totally ruined French Toast last week) and going to the supermarket, I've delayed my cooking plans for the past two weeks because 1)our Mama Ets was out of town and there's no one to supervise me in the kitchen (me unsupervised in the kitchen at this point might lead to disaster), 2)I've been catching up on the latest series - finally got to watch Pretty Little Liars and I'm so into Modern Family! 3)I have been trying to focus on this event I'll be helping out on and 4)all my energy has been well-spent at the gym.
So, since I have been hanging out at Fitness First more often, maybe I should just blog about what I've been doing there for the past two weeks. Yes, I have been putting off domesticated mode and blogging because most of the time I'm exhausted after a day at the gym. I never considered myself as a gymrat but look who's slowly becoming one. I go almost everyday and try out almost every class. The verdict? I'm really enjoying the dance classes. I love Latin which tries to bring out all the gracefulness that's hiding in me and Body Jam, which is a combination of different dance genres. The Hip-hop class was a bit too hardcore for me, I think it was designed for youngsters who can keep up with the many step variations, or maybe I should just get used to dancing like that again.
For the benefit of my readers, I used to dance a lot when I was a younger. I remember inventing steps for me and my sister and cousins to dance to, and I was part of a dance group that competed and trained several times a week. Good times. Of course, I used to do a lot of singing too :) and it would be great if those two "talents" stays with me forever. I love the rush I get when dancing. Of course, I'm no hardcore dancers like my two youngest sibs, but it wouldn't hurt if I still have my moves when I become a mom right? So anyway, maybe after a few more sessions, I'll be able to catch up with the steps in Hip-hop class. BodyCombat, which is like taebo is way more exhausting that the rest, but it's a good total body workout. Mama wants to try Retro tonight and I say, what the heck. Like I said, I'm at this point in my life where I need to let go and take in all the things that used to make me feel embarrassed and hinders me to really enjoy my time. So I'm kinda getting used to dancing with a bunch of mom and old women, with people watching us from the window and not care what they think. If I ace retro this weekend, I'll join a class I've always wanted to try since college: belly dancing. How fun is that! :) I'll try to take pictures when I get more comfy at the gym.
Aside from the dance classes, I've also already tried a Yoga class which is a LOT harder than I thought. I thought Yoga was about relaxing while trying to stretch. But I guess you really have to work harder on breathing and coming in to that peaceful state so that you can fully enjoy it. I know I have to work on that. My mind is used to multitasking all the time its hard to just hibernate. I'll try a simpler class though, to improve my balance and practice on proper breathing while thinking of nothing but that.
I make it a point to run in the treadmill everyday, briskwalk for a few minutes and run for at least five minutes. I try to be better at it everyday, increase my speed and time, not just because its a great way to burn calories, but because when I leave for Abu Dhabi in January, I won't have this gym membership anymore and all that will be left with me is my body, my skipping rope and my crosstrainers. I would have to run or jog with my husband everyday if I want to stay fit. He's been running or jogging for quite some time and I want to keep up with him, not slow him down. So I'm hoping that running in the treadmill will kinda prepare me for that. I also want to join those marathons for a good cause. It's a fun and fit way to get involved. I also love using the elliptical trainer and the rowing machine. The thing with cardio is that you have to do it everyday, increase the time you do with it to keep the fire, er, the calories burning.
What poses more as a challenge for me is strengthening my core. I have gone for more than a week without a trainer, and admittedly, I'm much better being taught things than discovering them. So I'm still trying to figure out what exercises to do, what equipments to use, but I know I can do it. I just need more time to observe and try everything that can help me strengthen my core and address my belly problem.
See that's just the thing. I started working out because random people (okay, random high school batchmates who hasn't seen me in YEARS, so unfair of them to judge right?) have been asking me if I got married because I gave birth. Totally unfair especially since Babe and I were the happiest people on the planet when we got married and while we really want to have cute babies someday, we didn't get married because I was pregnant. Gosh, why can't people believe that two people are mature and happy and sure enough to get married? Anyway, so my motivation is to really get rid of the belly, which is causing too much stir, but then I got a free health assessment and learned that I am 20 pounds overweight. So now my motivation is to lose these unwanted extra pounds before I go to Abu Dhabi in January. And I ironic as it may seem, I want to lose the belly and the weight to get myself ready for pregnancy. It's a given fact that women who get pregnant gain an average of 20 pounds. So I want to make an allotment for it that will not destroy my health completely. I want to get rid of the 20 pounds to be ready to gain it when its time to be preggy. But, 20 pounds... Sounds impossible right? But remember, no one survives a battle by being half-hearted. In fact, the girls I knew who made it from chubby to skinny made it through by believing that they can do it and not giving up. So that's what I'm gonna do too. I just have to keep trying and not give up. Besides, gym membership is not cheap. What with all the fees and the workout clothes, I have to make sure I get all my money's worth. I might not lose that 20 pounds by the end of Holiday Season, but you know what they say, reach for the moon, that way, even if you don't make it, you get to be in the stars.
In fact, not to brag or anything but I'm already seeing and feeling results. Baby steps. I just have to strive to always be at my best self. I know that I will be looking and feeling good in time for Holiday/out-of-town/wedding season and especially when I meet my husband again at the airport :)
Gotta get ready to hit the gym in a while!:)
So, since I have been hanging out at Fitness First more often, maybe I should just blog about what I've been doing there for the past two weeks. Yes, I have been putting off domesticated mode and blogging because most of the time I'm exhausted after a day at the gym. I never considered myself as a gymrat but look who's slowly becoming one. I go almost everyday and try out almost every class. The verdict? I'm really enjoying the dance classes. I love Latin which tries to bring out all the gracefulness that's hiding in me and Body Jam, which is a combination of different dance genres. The Hip-hop class was a bit too hardcore for me, I think it was designed for youngsters who can keep up with the many step variations, or maybe I should just get used to dancing like that again.
For the benefit of my readers, I used to dance a lot when I was a younger. I remember inventing steps for me and my sister and cousins to dance to, and I was part of a dance group that competed and trained several times a week. Good times. Of course, I used to do a lot of singing too :) and it would be great if those two "talents" stays with me forever. I love the rush I get when dancing. Of course, I'm no hardcore dancers like my two youngest sibs, but it wouldn't hurt if I still have my moves when I become a mom right? So anyway, maybe after a few more sessions, I'll be able to catch up with the steps in Hip-hop class. BodyCombat, which is like taebo is way more exhausting that the rest, but it's a good total body workout. Mama wants to try Retro tonight and I say, what the heck. Like I said, I'm at this point in my life where I need to let go and take in all the things that used to make me feel embarrassed and hinders me to really enjoy my time. So I'm kinda getting used to dancing with a bunch of mom and old women, with people watching us from the window and not care what they think. If I ace retro this weekend, I'll join a class I've always wanted to try since college: belly dancing. How fun is that! :) I'll try to take pictures when I get more comfy at the gym.
Aside from the dance classes, I've also already tried a Yoga class which is a LOT harder than I thought. I thought Yoga was about relaxing while trying to stretch. But I guess you really have to work harder on breathing and coming in to that peaceful state so that you can fully enjoy it. I know I have to work on that. My mind is used to multitasking all the time its hard to just hibernate. I'll try a simpler class though, to improve my balance and practice on proper breathing while thinking of nothing but that.
I make it a point to run in the treadmill everyday, briskwalk for a few minutes and run for at least five minutes. I try to be better at it everyday, increase my speed and time, not just because its a great way to burn calories, but because when I leave for Abu Dhabi in January, I won't have this gym membership anymore and all that will be left with me is my body, my skipping rope and my crosstrainers. I would have to run or jog with my husband everyday if I want to stay fit. He's been running or jogging for quite some time and I want to keep up with him, not slow him down. So I'm hoping that running in the treadmill will kinda prepare me for that. I also want to join those marathons for a good cause. It's a fun and fit way to get involved. I also love using the elliptical trainer and the rowing machine. The thing with cardio is that you have to do it everyday, increase the time you do with it to keep the fire, er, the calories burning.
What poses more as a challenge for me is strengthening my core. I have gone for more than a week without a trainer, and admittedly, I'm much better being taught things than discovering them. So I'm still trying to figure out what exercises to do, what equipments to use, but I know I can do it. I just need more time to observe and try everything that can help me strengthen my core and address my belly problem.
See that's just the thing. I started working out because random people (okay, random high school batchmates who hasn't seen me in YEARS, so unfair of them to judge right?) have been asking me if I got married because I gave birth. Totally unfair especially since Babe and I were the happiest people on the planet when we got married and while we really want to have cute babies someday, we didn't get married because I was pregnant. Gosh, why can't people believe that two people are mature and happy and sure enough to get married? Anyway, so my motivation is to really get rid of the belly, which is causing too much stir, but then I got a free health assessment and learned that I am 20 pounds overweight. So now my motivation is to lose these unwanted extra pounds before I go to Abu Dhabi in January. And I ironic as it may seem, I want to lose the belly and the weight to get myself ready for pregnancy. It's a given fact that women who get pregnant gain an average of 20 pounds. So I want to make an allotment for it that will not destroy my health completely. I want to get rid of the 20 pounds to be ready to gain it when its time to be preggy. But, 20 pounds... Sounds impossible right? But remember, no one survives a battle by being half-hearted. In fact, the girls I knew who made it from chubby to skinny made it through by believing that they can do it and not giving up. So that's what I'm gonna do too. I just have to keep trying and not give up. Besides, gym membership is not cheap. What with all the fees and the workout clothes, I have to make sure I get all my money's worth. I might not lose that 20 pounds by the end of Holiday Season, but you know what they say, reach for the moon, that way, even if you don't make it, you get to be in the stars.
In fact, not to brag or anything but I'm already seeing and feeling results. Baby steps. I just have to strive to always be at my best self. I know that I will be looking and feeling good in time for Holiday/out-of-town/wedding season and especially when I meet my husband again at the airport :)
Gotta get ready to hit the gym in a while!:)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Look Babe! I made our favorite salad!:) (Barbecue Chicken Chopped Salad)
Out of all the diet food that I have to prefer over normal food, one of my favorites would be a salad. I used to hate just eating those leaves and vegetables for lunch or dinner, but because of all the dieting phase I have gone through (unsuccessfully), I learned to appreciate salads and have tasted some that I would absolutely trade regular food for. Best ones for me would be TGIFriday's Grilled Chicken Ceasar Salad, Italiannis Ceasar Salad, the salad buffet from Kenny's Roast and Grill at Rockwell and CPK's Chopped Chicken Barbecue Salad. The absolute top of the lists were the Balsamic Vinaigrette Salad with Walnuts and Barbecue Chicken salad from K By Cunanan Catering, who catered in our wedding.
One of the few times hubby and I ate out for lunch (it's more of dinner out for us), we went to California Pizza Kitchen. I really wanted to order the chopped chicken salad so we did, and although he's not a fan of veggies, he loved it! He said it was the kind of food he should be eating back in Abu Dhabi, before he plays basketball. So I made I mental note of looking for the recipe to send to him. I did and I wondered if he ever tried to make it.
(of course, this is how it looks like when you eat at CPK. Remind me to not toss everything yet and present it like this the next time.)
Anyway, I loved this salad so much that I know I really should learn how to make it. It's timely because I really needed to be cutting off from my carbs and start dieting again. So I looked for the recipe again in the web and I found this:
One of the few times hubby and I ate out for lunch (it's more of dinner out for us), we went to California Pizza Kitchen. I really wanted to order the chopped chicken salad so we did, and although he's not a fan of veggies, he loved it! He said it was the kind of food he should be eating back in Abu Dhabi, before he plays basketball. So I made I mental note of looking for the recipe to send to him. I did and I wondered if he ever tried to make it.
Anyway, I loved this salad so much that I know I really should learn how to make it. It's timely because I really needed to be cutting off from my carbs and start dieting again. So I looked for the recipe again in the web and I found this:
California Pizza Kitchen Chicken Chopped Salad Recipe http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/512/California_Pizza_Kitchen_Chicken_Chopped_Salad31311.shtml
This version was so elaborate. So last night I thought I'd make a simpler version by getting some of the ingredients at the supermarket. I substituted the fried tortilla strips with Chippy (or Tortillos, it depends), for the garden herb ranch sauce I just got the ready-made ranch dressing from the supermarket and added just a bit of mustard on it; we had leftover chicken fingers at the fridge so I just heated that, cut it into bits and tossed them in barbecue sauce. After that, I mixed it with the lettuce, tomato and grated cheese. It was fast and delicious!
Despite how it looks like in the picture (I know I have to work on food photography), it tasted really good!;) perfect to make if you have left over fried chicken and veggies in the fridge. I was wrong to toss in the tortilla strips with the rest of the ingredients though. After I ate a serving, I left it in the fridge for my family to eat. They loved it last night. This morning though, when my sister wanted to eat some more of it, the tortillas were already soggy. So I reckoned it's just best as a topping and should be mixed with the salad when you're ready to eat it.
After my workout this afternoon, I felt really hungry. I wanted to get a chicken sandwich at Kenny Rogers, but I wanted to go home right away and I'm cutting back on my spending. So I thought, why not give that chicken salad recipe another go? I was already home when I realized I used up all the ranch dressing I bought last night. I had no choice, I had to make the ranch sauce from scratch. And so I did; followed what was written in the recipe (except I didn't have sour cream. parsley, dill), wasn't too keen on the right measurements for everything though, but the dressing tasted great!=) even better than the ranch dressing I had bought yesterday. Cool =) I made a salad dressing from scratch! I stored it in the fridge while I grilled my chicken.
I also did a proper marinade for the chicken breasts that we got from the supermarket yesterday. Pretty much followed the recipe but adding a bit of barbecue sauce in it. Mixing and tasting was easy for me; what posed as a challenge was the grilling because I grew impatient. And I don't know when it's already cooked. I have to fry something soon, to test my skills for this. Good thing our "Ate Aida" was there to tell me if the chicken is already cooked and is ready to be cut and tossed into the barbecue sauce. When everything was ready, I mixed the lettuce, tomato, onions, corn and grated cheese into the dressing (I didn't have black beans and cilantro though), then carefully tossed the chicken that was dripping in barbecue sauce. I was careful not to put all of the barbecue sauce in the salad, I didn't want it to taste too sweet. I tossed and tossed and tasted it. Yum!:) Seriously, I would say it here if I failed, but I didn't! It tasted great! I got a big serving and took some chippy from a sealed container. My dinner was ready!
Chippy's barbecue crispiness was the perfect topping to the salad. I finished what was inside that bowl and was extremely satisfied and fulfilled. I didn't want to feel full because it meant that I over-ate. So just fulfilled. That I aced another kitchen duty. Big smile from here. Can't wait for my sister to taste it. I reckoned we should always have a salad ready in the fridge so we wouldn't have the reason to eat rice.
In my opinion, this is the perfect before-going-to-school/workout lunch salad! The dressing might be a little too sinful for dinner. I can't wait to eat this in the morning with juice and ice cream! I have a big run to go to so I'm allowed to eat a lot.
I hope my husband would get a chance to read my blog. I was really inspired to ace this recipe because of him. I can already make one of your favorite healthy food Babe!=) will prepare a batch for you too when you come home ;)
so that's 2 dishes down, and a lot lot more to go!=) I hope I don't lose the appetite and the zest to cook some more, I'm really enjoying it. Hurray for domesticity!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Our never-fail fish dish - Baked Dory in Mashed Potatoes
When Mother is too busy to make dinner and I am in the mood to help out in the kitchen, we always go for our foolproof healthy dish - baked cream dory topped with mashed potatoes. It's good for us because its gourmet-ish (so we don't feel deprived that there's no good food at home) but its also yummy and filling. When Mama goes out of town or is busy for the weekend, we make a lot of this dish, store it in the fridge and just heat it in the microwave when we're hungry. We all like it (well, except for our baby brother who is still such a growing boy) so nobody complains.
So it's pretty easy to make. For the baked dory, all you need is the fish -cream dory(supermarket love), dried basil leaves, a pinch of salt and the ingredient of the day, a small sachet of Knorr Real Sarap. Its really a no-brainer. You just lay the dory in an oven-safe platter, sprinkle it with the salt, Knorr Real Sarap and dried basil leaves and put it in the oven for six minutes. In my case, I bake it in the microwave, because I'm still afraid to use our real big oven. I haven't baked in a while. The microwave and I are pals. (Thank God our friends gave us one as a wedding gift).
I think anyone who has ever ate at KFC or Kenny Rogers know that mashed potato isn't just mashed potato. My love affair with potatoes has led me to several experiments on how to make our mashed potato perfect. But just now, looking for a proper mashed potato recipe, I came across this article that says there is no perfect recipe for mashed potatoes. It just depends on how you want yours. I like mine creamy and buttery. Mama wants it salty and less creamy. But making mashed potato is so basic (yabang!) that you can always alter the ingredients to get the taste and consistency you want.
Our recipe goes like this: we peel the potatoes, mash them with a fork and put it in a pan with butter. I just mix it well until the butter's all melted. After that I sprinkle white pepper, salt and Knorr Real Sarap. I just mix and stir so that the potatoes blends finely with the other ingredients. I usually add half a cup of all-purpose cream and half a cup of milk, but we didn't have all-purpose cream last night so I just poured in a cup of fresh milk and mixed it. For a while there, I thought I ruined our mashed potato (really, who ruins a simple mashed potato dish?) because they were swimming in milk. It looked almost soupy. But I grated some cheese in it, continued to stir and after a few minutes, the potatoes absorbed the milk and had the perfect creamy color. I added some more salt because the last time hubby tasted my mashed potatoes, he said it lacks a bit of salt (but I actually like it less salty). It's ready!:)
After that I just put the mashed potatoes on top of the baked fish so that it's completely covered and it's back to the oven for three minutes! Viola! We now have our easy, ready-to-serve gourmet dish that we can store and reheat any time we get hungry. My sister and I had it for dinner last night with some salad, our parents paired it with rice. As of this writing, the boys, who ate out last night are having it for hangover brunch.
Here's how it looked like last night after we got a pretty big serving:
(I know, I have to work on food photography. I didn't bother to make an elaborate presentation for this too)
It's good that this is one of my no-brainer dishes. I want to learn dishes that can be stored and reheated without losing its goodness. Hubby has irregular meal times, and as a boy, is always hungry so I would always want him to feel that I have something waiting for him inside the fridge. It will save us from emergency fastfood and it's good for him since he is not allowed to eat pork or beef.
Oh by the way, here's a more decent version of the mashed potato recipe from the internet:
http://www.reluctantgourmet.com/mashed.htm
So that's one down, and so much more to go! Mama Ets is out of town, but I promise to cook the simple lutong-bahay dishes for the coming week!=)
So it's pretty easy to make. For the baked dory, all you need is the fish -cream dory(supermarket love), dried basil leaves, a pinch of salt and the ingredient of the day, a small sachet of Knorr Real Sarap. Its really a no-brainer. You just lay the dory in an oven-safe platter, sprinkle it with the salt, Knorr Real Sarap and dried basil leaves and put it in the oven for six minutes. In my case, I bake it in the microwave, because I'm still afraid to use our real big oven. I haven't baked in a while. The microwave and I are pals. (Thank God our friends gave us one as a wedding gift).
I think anyone who has ever ate at KFC or Kenny Rogers know that mashed potato isn't just mashed potato. My love affair with potatoes has led me to several experiments on how to make our mashed potato perfect. But just now, looking for a proper mashed potato recipe, I came across this article that says there is no perfect recipe for mashed potatoes. It just depends on how you want yours. I like mine creamy and buttery. Mama wants it salty and less creamy. But making mashed potato is so basic (yabang!) that you can always alter the ingredients to get the taste and consistency you want.
Our recipe goes like this: we peel the potatoes, mash them with a fork and put it in a pan with butter. I just mix it well until the butter's all melted. After that I sprinkle white pepper, salt and Knorr Real Sarap. I just mix and stir so that the potatoes blends finely with the other ingredients. I usually add half a cup of all-purpose cream and half a cup of milk, but we didn't have all-purpose cream last night so I just poured in a cup of fresh milk and mixed it. For a while there, I thought I ruined our mashed potato (really, who ruins a simple mashed potato dish?) because they were swimming in milk. It looked almost soupy. But I grated some cheese in it, continued to stir and after a few minutes, the potatoes absorbed the milk and had the perfect creamy color. I added some more salt because the last time hubby tasted my mashed potatoes, he said it lacks a bit of salt (but I actually like it less salty). It's ready!:)
After that I just put the mashed potatoes on top of the baked fish so that it's completely covered and it's back to the oven for three minutes! Viola! We now have our easy, ready-to-serve gourmet dish that we can store and reheat any time we get hungry. My sister and I had it for dinner last night with some salad, our parents paired it with rice. As of this writing, the boys, who ate out last night are having it for hangover brunch.
Here's how it looked like last night after we got a pretty big serving:
It's good that this is one of my no-brainer dishes. I want to learn dishes that can be stored and reheated without losing its goodness. Hubby has irregular meal times, and as a boy, is always hungry so I would always want him to feel that I have something waiting for him inside the fridge. It will save us from emergency fastfood and it's good for him since he is not allowed to eat pork or beef.
Oh by the way, here's a more decent version of the mashed potato recipe from the internet:
http://www.reluctantgourmet.com/mashed.htm
So that's one down, and so much more to go! Mama Ets is out of town, but I promise to cook the simple lutong-bahay dishes for the coming week!=)
Baby Steps
So... this isn't an easy feat.
Back here, I just came back with my mother to pick up my wedding gown, which was almost three months delayed at the dry cleaners, and accompanied her to the supermarket, which is the closest I have gotten to being domesticated.
Just going through every grocery lane with her, I realized that the "field"of domesticity is just so vast. One minute we're in the laundry detergents section, after 10 minutes I'm putting raw chicken strips in a plastic bag. I am amazed at moms and housewives. Especially my own mother. Its so hard thinking of what my husband would want to eat in a day and there will be just two of us. Imagine Mama's situation where there are 7 of us, each with different needs and tastes. Our drinks for example: My sister wants those aloe drink thingies while I prefer Fit N Right. Our youngest brother wants Gatorade. Or food. Sis is now into a no-meat diet, I dislike fish and want more chicken and veggies, but our boys are still growing and they always love meat in their meals. Not only is our budget for groceries seriously big, but its intriguing how much thought our mother always has to put in a regular day at the supermarket.
But that is still the easy part. Kind of the dutiful daughter, I have been tagging along with Mama at the supermarket for years. This is a chore that I don't think I'll have much of a problem with. Grocery is counted as shopping right? What's taxing are the chores that involve the grocery items. Doing the laundry, cooking, ironing. Good luck with me on that one. There are just too many things that I have to learn, and I don't think I can ace them all within three months.
I know my husband's gonna be better than me with these things at the start, since he has been taking care of himself since he went abroad. But I'm gonna have to catch up soon and at least not be embarrassing when I finally move out of my homebase.
So, I'm taking baby steps for the first three months. Just so I can have a firm grasp of all things housewife-y. I don't want to scare myself off with the whole kitchen, laundry duty. The supermarket chore is a good start. I have also arranged cooking lessons with our "Mama Ets," our family's go-to person when it comes to cooking. Laundry would have to be scheduled soon to, as well as ironing. I don't have to be good at it at once, but I know I have to learn, and I have to learn soon.
So that's it for today. I don't want to be too preoccuppied with blogging because I need to be working in the kitchen tonight. My two specialties - cream dory and mashed potato, and salad (I know, I'm at THAT level palang!). If they're a win or a fail, I'll blog about it soon too. Wish me luck though ;)
To the kitchen!:)
I know my husband's gonna be better than me with these things at the start, since he has been taking care of himself since he went abroad. But I'm gonna have to catch up soon and at least not be embarrassing when I finally move out of my homebase.
So, I'm taking baby steps for the first three months. Just so I can have a firm grasp of all things housewife-y. I don't want to scare myself off with the whole kitchen, laundry duty. The supermarket chore is a good start. I have also arranged cooking lessons with our "Mama Ets," our family's go-to person when it comes to cooking. Laundry would have to be scheduled soon to, as well as ironing. I don't have to be good at it at once, but I know I have to learn, and I have to learn soon.
So that's it for today. I don't want to be too preoccuppied with blogging because I need to be working in the kitchen tonight. My two specialties - cream dory and mashed potato, and salad (I know, I'm at THAT level palang!). If they're a win or a fail, I'll blog about it soon too. Wish me luck though ;)
To the kitchen!:)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The first awkward post
As an events practitioner, I know that all launches, beginnings and firsts should start with a bang! But writing my first entry for my first sort-of-public blog feels more like an awkward thud than a clever and self-assured bang. Maybe because after what feels like a lifetime of not writing, I announced to the world (or at least in Facebook and twitterverse) that I will be starting a new blog, and as soon as I said it, writers' block caught up with me. This wasn't the case last night, when I couldn't stop thinking about starting a blog. I had a lot of ideas for my blog entries that I wouldn't even know where to begin.
Now, even after I took the time looking for great places to write, how to write ( I usually prefer writing with a pen and paper rather than a computer), had my fair share of milk tea and procrastinating, I still haven't written a decent thought. What to write about? That was the second hardest question of the day (will tell you about the hardest question later). So it seems like a great idea to evade the question altogether and just...write. About me, about why I'm putting up this blog, and why I finally had the courage to share it. I don't know which is more awkward, writing this blog, or doing the "introduce yourself" part which I was never good at, at any point in my life.
Before anything else, let me clarify that I this blog is not in any way related to The Starter Wife novel turned miniseries starring Debra Messing, nor is my story or current status similar to the plot in that show. If I'm not mistaken, that series was a savvy comedy about life after divorce. On the contrary, I have just gotten married and I vow to stay married with my husband forever. So why name my blog "The Starter Wife"?
Well, it feels like I'm at a point in my life where a lot of things are starting. Like there's a whole new me that I'm trying to discover. New challenges, new experiences. I just got married, just turned 25, which is considered a real adult age. I read in an article that this season is about becoming. And while who or what kind of person I want to become is not really clear-cut with me yet, I know I have great potential in becoming a good one. And I will find out someday soon. So I want to document it as much as I could. I know it will be fun.
I joined a fitness club two days ago. I used to be very anti-gym. I just didn't find it appealing honestly, with all the manly equipment and expensive charges. I was satisfied with skipping rope and boxing. But I needed a strong motivation to help me lose the unwanted pounds. So I enrolled. The joining fee was quite steep if you ask me. So I need to go at least three times a week to make sure I get my money's worth. Two days into the fitness zone and I realized it can actually be exciting if you just open yourself to everything they offer. I plan to go often and try out all the classes.
Just this morning, I resigned from my job. It was a job I found easy and rewarding. It's not a job I truly love, but keeps me compensated enough to make me stay with it, especially now that the holidays are drawing near. Then why did I quit? Because I feel that a surge of good things are coming my way and I can't let anything hold me back. And for the first time, I sincerely felt that someone has got my back. I've had a lot of okay jobs before and whenever I feel like I'm ready to go after what I love and step out of my comfort zones, something comes up that makes me hold back and say "not yet." Maybe the need to be employed and be part of a system, maybe the need to save up for a rainy day. So I take an okay job after another. When I learned that I will be joining my husband in Abu Dhabi, I thought, maybe the next months is meant for me to reunite myself and my loves - my husband, Alexis, writing, and events. But things came up and my trip will be delayed. So I thought, okay, I have to go back to the cycle and earn for a few months more. But hubby said it was okay if I did not want to continue working there anymore, since it wasn't my field anyway. Should I resign? - that was the hardest question I had to answer today. I hesitated because I still wanted to earn and not be a burden to him. But he said that it's okay. He'll take care of it. So for now, I can help out on some events on the side and pro-bono, and resume writing, which is my first love.
So even though I have put my trust in him from the very start (otherwise, we wouldn't be married now), this whole moving to another country and letting go of work has introduced me to a whole new level of trusting my husband. Trusting another person. It's new to me, because I have always considered myself as self-sufficient. Even when I am in-between jobs, as much as possible, I try to earn my own money, solve my own problems. I usually don't rely on other people to get the job done. Okay, I usually don't trust other people. But there's something in my husband that makes me feel secure. It was hard for me to let go of the option to support myself through work, but I have never felt like this before. Like I can be sure someone has my back for a decision I have made; when I can be myself and that person will not judge me, leave me and will stand by me no matter what. Like I can cry my heart out to him and he won't take it against me. It's very liberating. So this blog would never have started without his blessing. If he wouldn't have told me it's okay. Since I've been with my husband, I have evolved into a completely different person. Slowly, I am learning to let my guard down. Tell jokes, laugh at my mistakes, look silly and not take myself too seriously. He makes me strong and he makes me crazy and brave.
Okay, by now, you would have noticed that my style of writing is very transparent, tongue-in-cheek, and bordering on cheesy. I think it's all part of my "charm" as a writer-slash-blogger. I hope you find it enjoyable though, but tell me if I'm being extremely cheesy.
So what is this blog about, really? Well, this is me moving on from my Here Cams the Bride blog, and just about me and my misadventures as a young wife. The paths that I will take to reach my fitness goals. The trials that I will come across to learn the ropes to being domesticated. Soon, my experiences as a young Pinay wife in the Middle East. All for the love of a guy ;) oh, and my sister suggested that I review some items from time to time too.
I am excited. Because it is the first time I feel like I can try anything, and will rely on myself domestically, but rely on other people too. On my husband, because I will officially be under his care when we go to Abu Dhabi, and the Lord of course, because I am completely entrusting to Him everything that will happen next.
So who knows? Maybe the next thing I will write about is how I will ace washing my clothes (or ruining it), how I perfectly cooked my first lutong-bahay like Sinigang or Adobo (or if it tastes like perfect crap), or how fun my belly-dancing/hip-hop class went, or the next laundry detergent that you should try. The possibilities are endless! which makes writing all the more exciting for me :) I can't wait to share everything with you (whoever you are, I just like sharing) so I hope you stick around ;)
**sorry if the first entry was too long, will try to edit for the next few ones :)
Special thanks to those who made a bid to read my blog; my friends Ecka and Kissy, my sister Katherine and my hubby Alexis :)
Now, even after I took the time looking for great places to write, how to write ( I usually prefer writing with a pen and paper rather than a computer), had my fair share of milk tea and procrastinating, I still haven't written a decent thought. What to write about? That was the second hardest question of the day (will tell you about the hardest question later). So it seems like a great idea to evade the question altogether and just...write. About me, about why I'm putting up this blog, and why I finally had the courage to share it. I don't know which is more awkward, writing this blog, or doing the "introduce yourself" part which I was never good at, at any point in my life.
Before anything else, let me clarify that I this blog is not in any way related to The Starter Wife novel turned miniseries starring Debra Messing, nor is my story or current status similar to the plot in that show. If I'm not mistaken, that series was a savvy comedy about life after divorce. On the contrary, I have just gotten married and I vow to stay married with my husband forever. So why name my blog "The Starter Wife"?
Well, it feels like I'm at a point in my life where a lot of things are starting. Like there's a whole new me that I'm trying to discover. New challenges, new experiences. I just got married, just turned 25, which is considered a real adult age. I read in an article that this season is about becoming. And while who or what kind of person I want to become is not really clear-cut with me yet, I know I have great potential in becoming a good one. And I will find out someday soon. So I want to document it as much as I could. I know it will be fun.
I joined a fitness club two days ago. I used to be very anti-gym. I just didn't find it appealing honestly, with all the manly equipment and expensive charges. I was satisfied with skipping rope and boxing. But I needed a strong motivation to help me lose the unwanted pounds. So I enrolled. The joining fee was quite steep if you ask me. So I need to go at least three times a week to make sure I get my money's worth. Two days into the fitness zone and I realized it can actually be exciting if you just open yourself to everything they offer. I plan to go often and try out all the classes.
Just this morning, I resigned from my job. It was a job I found easy and rewarding. It's not a job I truly love, but keeps me compensated enough to make me stay with it, especially now that the holidays are drawing near. Then why did I quit? Because I feel that a surge of good things are coming my way and I can't let anything hold me back. And for the first time, I sincerely felt that someone has got my back. I've had a lot of okay jobs before and whenever I feel like I'm ready to go after what I love and step out of my comfort zones, something comes up that makes me hold back and say "not yet." Maybe the need to be employed and be part of a system, maybe the need to save up for a rainy day. So I take an okay job after another. When I learned that I will be joining my husband in Abu Dhabi, I thought, maybe the next months is meant for me to reunite myself and my loves - my husband, Alexis, writing, and events. But things came up and my trip will be delayed. So I thought, okay, I have to go back to the cycle and earn for a few months more. But hubby said it was okay if I did not want to continue working there anymore, since it wasn't my field anyway. Should I resign? - that was the hardest question I had to answer today. I hesitated because I still wanted to earn and not be a burden to him. But he said that it's okay. He'll take care of it. So for now, I can help out on some events on the side and pro-bono, and resume writing, which is my first love.
So even though I have put my trust in him from the very start (otherwise, we wouldn't be married now), this whole moving to another country and letting go of work has introduced me to a whole new level of trusting my husband. Trusting another person. It's new to me, because I have always considered myself as self-sufficient. Even when I am in-between jobs, as much as possible, I try to earn my own money, solve my own problems. I usually don't rely on other people to get the job done. Okay, I usually don't trust other people. But there's something in my husband that makes me feel secure. It was hard for me to let go of the option to support myself through work, but I have never felt like this before. Like I can be sure someone has my back for a decision I have made; when I can be myself and that person will not judge me, leave me and will stand by me no matter what. Like I can cry my heart out to him and he won't take it against me. It's very liberating. So this blog would never have started without his blessing. If he wouldn't have told me it's okay. Since I've been with my husband, I have evolved into a completely different person. Slowly, I am learning to let my guard down. Tell jokes, laugh at my mistakes, look silly and not take myself too seriously. He makes me strong and he makes me crazy and brave.
Okay, by now, you would have noticed that my style of writing is very transparent, tongue-in-cheek, and bordering on cheesy. I think it's all part of my "charm" as a writer-slash-blogger. I hope you find it enjoyable though, but tell me if I'm being extremely cheesy.
So what is this blog about, really? Well, this is me moving on from my Here Cams the Bride blog, and just about me and my misadventures as a young wife. The paths that I will take to reach my fitness goals. The trials that I will come across to learn the ropes to being domesticated. Soon, my experiences as a young Pinay wife in the Middle East. All for the love of a guy ;) oh, and my sister suggested that I review some items from time to time too.
I am excited. Because it is the first time I feel like I can try anything, and will rely on myself domestically, but rely on other people too. On my husband, because I will officially be under his care when we go to Abu Dhabi, and the Lord of course, because I am completely entrusting to Him everything that will happen next.
So who knows? Maybe the next thing I will write about is how I will ace washing my clothes (or ruining it), how I perfectly cooked my first lutong-bahay like Sinigang or Adobo (or if it tastes like perfect crap), or how fun my belly-dancing/hip-hop class went, or the next laundry detergent that you should try. The possibilities are endless! which makes writing all the more exciting for me :) I can't wait to share everything with you (whoever you are, I just like sharing) so I hope you stick around ;)
**sorry if the first entry was too long, will try to edit for the next few ones :)
Special thanks to those who made a bid to read my blog; my friends Ecka and Kissy, my sister Katherine and my hubby Alexis :)
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