About ME

Took this personality test and as much as I want to deny it, the results were true to the core.

It said there that I am...

The Good-natured Realist

Good-natured Realists are warm-hearted, helpful personalities. They do their work conscientiously and have a pronounced organising talent. They often feel they are committed to traditional values. The family in particular is extremely important to Good-natured Realists. Their greatest pleasure is making themselves useful and taking care of other people. But they do not like pushing themselves to the fore; they prefer to fulfil their tasks out of the limelight. Good-natured Realists are real workaholics; they are very reliable and nothing is too much for them when it is a question of completing a project. Thoroughness, conscientiousness and sense of duty are their strongest points. They prefer established and familiar situations to new and unknown situations.

In dealing with others, Good-natured Realists are considerate and obliging; they are always happy to put aside their own requirements in the interest of their family and friends. Their home is mostly very well cared-for, cosy and tidy. Their perfectionism on the one hand and their aversion to delegating tasks on the other hand often lead to them taking on too much both professionally and privately. They cannot stand discord; conflicts make them very unhappy. One could almost describe them as being harmony-addicted - and this sometimes leads them to strongly neglecting themselves and their own wishes because they are unable to bring themselves to put up a fight.

As a Good-natured Realist you are one of the introverted personality types. Consequently, you don’t appreciate too much commotion around you so you can devote yourself to your task with sufficient intensity and concentration. You can work very well alone and while being immersed in a task, you don’t appreciate to be continuously interrupted or disturbed.

Nevertheless, your need for harmony and your adaptability make you a good team worker if necessary. Therefore, you are relatively flexible when choosing your working environment, and have the ability to decide which setting you prefer. A profession that gives you the feeling that you are doing something for other people is important to you. Good-natured Realists are very caring people and enjoy taking care of others. Despite your in-troverted personality and because you are a feeler-type, it is easy for you to put yourself in the place of others and sense their needs. 

You are most comfortable in a one-on-one situation; you are less enthusiastic about delivering speeches to major groups. At any rate, when choosing your profession, make sure to surround yourself with people who share your personal ideals and convictions, and on whom you can count to work with you. Too many obstacles to your caring for and supporting others make you unhappy.

For you, it is important to depend on a clear and structured workflow. You need time to prepare yourself for new demands, possibly acquire new competencies, and finish one task after the other. As a matter of fact, you are less opposed to routine work than many other personality types. To a certain extent, you don’t mind dealing with them. In your workday, some diversions should naturally be available, but juggling three balls at the same time isn’t something you enjoy doing because you would be concerned that the quality of your work would suffer. That would be a nightmare for your perfectionist expectations of yourself and your accomplishments.

Thoroughness and accuracy are some of your great strengths. While other people stand in perplexity before that which you have accomplished, you see room for improvement in everything you have ever done. In your professional life, time-sensitive projects are especially helpful to you because you would be trying to improve rather unimportant details of a project until doomsday. 

What do you have to say about that? :)

Epiphany

Be still my beating heart.  It's almost bursting with thoughts that I ponder upon...

As the countdown to my 26th begins,  I find myself going back to the same realization over and over again;  after much thinking and comparison between how I was before and who I am now, I have come to terms with the discovery that I have changed... and I can never go back to the way I was.

When I was younger, I always described myself as easy to get along with.  Mainly because I find that it wasn't hard for me to conform with people from both sides of the pole: the good and the bad; the optimists and the pessimists; the naughty and the nice.  And these people have no trouble dealing with me because I'm game with adjusting my ways to theirs.  Maybe it's because of my laid-back attitude of going with the flow, or my mean streak that enables me to switch sides as easily.  When I'm with my family and friends in the community, I am good, patient and compassionate, but in the company of other friends, in school or at work, I can easily stash away my conscience and be mean and stonehearted to the core.  I wasn't purely evil, but it wasn't hard for me to laugh about the misfortune of others and talk behind people's backs.  I could draw judgment on people based on the things they say without thinking if I did it prematurely.  I could talk to other youth about God and conviction during the day and get drunk with my friends at night.  Of course I would feel guilty afterwards.  When I started working I passed the blame on the environment I was in.  I'd say that it comes with the job (I used to work in public relations).  I was trained to keep a smile plastered on my face on the outside when I am seething with anger on the inside.  At the end of the day I needed to rant to my friends to let off steam and keep my sanity.  But again I'd feel guilty afterwards.

It's not about not having a conscience that bothers me, because I know deep inside I really am more good than bad.  It's how easily I can adapt to the good and bad.  Like my faith has no backbone whatsoever to stand up for what it believes in.  It came to a point that it was almost a comfort zone, knowing that no one could hurt me without me having the ability to hurt them back, and that when life on the good side was becoming such a bore, I could always turn the mean switch on.  Having two sides of me kept me young and playful, it kept me vibrant and it made me interesting to people.

But that was then.  Today, no matter how I wish that I still have that side of me so I wouldn't be as vulnerable, I don't think its still there.  Before I could easily turn a blind eye when I hear or see people I know making fun of others or talking behind our friends' backs.  Sometimes I would even indulge in these rumors.  But now it's so hard to be in the same room with them when they do that.  I would leave or else I would be so put off with our budding friendships.  My tolerance for meanness dropped big time.  And even if they somehow deserve it and my mind can think of several mean things to say about them in a matter of seconds, I choose not to, because if I do, then I'm not different from them after all.  I couldn't ever bear to think that I'm better than any of them.

I can't exactly pinpoint what it is that changed me.  Is it because living in Abu Dhabi took me out of my comfort zones and pushed me to let go of it completely, or am I simply getting old and maturing?  Maybe it's a bit of both, and maybe also because I finally stopped resisting and started succumbing to the Lord's way of molding me to become the woman I want to be.  I've heard or read it so many times before, but now I can attest to it: prayer and scriptures really shapes a person's character.

I don't mean to sound preachy but I thank God for His patience to change me at the perfect time, when I am starting a family of my own.  When you empty your soul of all your inhibitions and surrender everything to Him in faith without holding anything back, He really fills you up.  Our Lord hasn't changed.  The God I serve then is the same God I worship now, but it's a renewed Camille that is serving Him.  When I think of the possibility of slipping back to the old me, something tells me that I now have the strength to fight it this time.

I used to be in awe of the term conviction, because it's something that I have always admired in people, I have always aspired to have, but can never achieve.  But having been able to break out of the chains of having a double life, I am giddy at the thought of the Lord finally giving me this gift.  A backbone for my faith.  And this is one of the best gifts I have received as I become 26 and a new woman.

Have a blessed day everyone!:)

Bloomsbury's cupcakes - a decadent dessert place for every fair lady

One of my fondest memories of girl bonding was lazy weekend afternoons with my sister or girl friends, chatting at cafes, sampling cakes and desserts and having coffee or some tea to wash it down.  Only girls understand the importance of slowing it down in the afternoon, having delightful conversations with friends over something sweet and something hot.

When I moved to the UAE, I was in pursuit of nice cafes with good desserts or even bakeshops with great tasting cakes.  Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of them.  I really couldn't find a place where I can kick back my heels (or ballet flats) and enjoy sumptuous cakes or pastries.  So I settled for ice cream instead (luckily, there are a lot of yummy places to choose from when it comes to this).  But eating ice cream is not the same as eating cakes, because ice cream melts before conversation does, and there's something about eating cakes (especially cupcakes) that makes me feel like a lady.

So when I heard about a new cupcake place opening in Al Wahda mall, I knew I had to check it out.  Bloomsbury's Cupcake wasn't hard to find; it was situated at the heart of the shopping mall, near the stadium entrance.  From afar, it looks like a big black box but if you come closer and notice the understated damask print all over the place and beautifully frosted cupcakes lined up at the window displays, you'll get the feeling that you're about to enter something indulgent.  Stepping into the posh cafe, I saw women sitting on the exquisite chairs and glass tables and at the counter, a glorious display of mouth-watering cupcakes in towering trays.  I felt like a present-day Marie Antoinette.

The cupcakes were very daintily made, staring at them made me feel like a seven-year old girl admiring something very pretty.  The only thing better than looking at the cupcakes was actually eating them; there was a wide selection of cupcakes which were classified into two: the gourmet collection (12 dhs), and the luxury collection (16 dhs).  On the menu, I also saw an assortment of teas and freshly-brewed coffee, I wanted to try the teas, but I had to run and do some grocery-shopping so I chose one cupcake from each collection to-go.  They were placed in an elegant damask print box.

The gourmet cupcake I selected, the red velvet was just a handful of delectable goodness.  The moist chocolate vanilla sponge was just right, not too sweet, and the light cream cheese frosting made the perfect topping.  I'm a fan of carrot cake so for the luxury variety, I chose the Diabetic's Dream, which is made of dark carrot cake with cream cheese topping.  The taste was exactly what the name implies, the carrot cake was sumptuous, with slivers of fruits and nuts coming with every bite.  The cream cheese icing on top completed the exhilarating experience and diabetics would surely be grateful for this masterpiece.  Just one cupcake is filling enough that I had to finish them in two sittings.

Being a lady is being able delight in life's little pleasures such as a cupcake and a tea room with a chic ambiance.  I would surely come back to Bloomsbury's soon for an indulgent me-time and an afternoon tea.

Porto Bello: romantic retreat with gastronomic delights

My husband and I are simple when it comes to dining out.  However, we have several guidelines for restaurants to ensure our return visit: good food, great value for money, a place quiet enough to have an intimate conversation and excellent service with a smile.  But on our first anniversary, we decided to go the extra mile and have a fancy dinner date experience, and we were pleased to have gotten all four things when we dined at Porto Bello, the new Italian Restaurant at the Grand Millennium Al Wahda Hotel.

We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early for our reservation, but the hostess readily welcomed us and ushered us to our table.   The hostess explained that she chose that particular spot for us so that we could see the violinist and pianist as they perform.   The waiter assigned to us was courteous and polite as he explained the menu and took our orders.  We were hungry so we went straight to the main course, which were the Costolette and the Parpadelle Porto Bello.

The restaurant had the makings of a perfect dinner date setting; the soft lighting, the plush neutral and burgundy chairs, beautiful table set-up and live music displayed understated elegance.  It was like a scene taken out of a romantic movie.  The violinist even came near our table as she played a love song and congratulated us on our milestone.

First, we were served a basket of warm bread and sundried tomatoes dip, which were already filling enough to satisfy our hunger.  We were then treated to a little sample of gnocchi, compliments of the chef and although spinach was the only ingredient we can make of it (we are not sophisticated eaters), it was indeed appetizing.  Our main course and drinks arrived after a few minutes.  Hubby’s Costolette (lamb chops) was perfect; there was none of the lamb’s distinctive odor that some people couldn’t stand, and it was beautifully plated with asparagus tips, mushrooms and caper sauce.   I had the Parpadelle Porto Bello, which was good except that the rocket sauce was a little bitter for my taste (I didn’t know it had vegetables, my bad).  Nevertheless, the pasta was cooked exactly how I wanted it to be - al dente.  The scallops were tasty and the sauce has a lemon, garlic taste that I liked.

The dinner was almost perfect, except that the waiter forgot to serve the lemonade that my husband ordered and the cake that was supposed to be served after dinner as a surprise to my hubby.   But we were already full anyway, so I didn’t bother to ask the staff about it and just skipped dessert.

My husband and I noticed that the place wasn’t very busy on a Saturday night, with only two batches of guests arriving after us.  We wondered why, considering that the food was delicious and the prices were surprisingly cheap.  We paid less than 300 dirhams for our food, including the service and tourism fee.

We left the restaurant very satisfied and with the staff not forgetting to greet us a happy anniversary.  That sealed the deal for us; we would definitely come back.  And although we couldn’t remember the exact words and pronunciation of what we ate, only one word captures the whole experience of dining at Porto Bello: è bellissimo!

Freestyling Mode - Celebrate

Instead of worrying about the bad things, celebrate what's already good in your life.

Easier said than done.  Especially for me who worries too much.  I've already spent half my day looking for a job online, wondering what is wrong with my resume, if I'm ever gonna be qualified enough for the companies that I like.  For the nth time I contemplate if I should lower my standards and go for the jobs that are just way out of my league (not in a good way) and apply for jobs in the neighboring city.  I'm still embarrassed that I gave my husband a home video on our first wedding anniversary while he treated me to a movie date, shopping spree and fancy dinner.  And I can't get over the fact that I'm on my fifth month here in Abu Dhabi and I still haven't figured out a way to contribute to our expenses and my husband is the sole breadwinner in our little family of two.  My excitement for our family trip gets a buzzkill when I am reminded that I still don't have shopping money saved up and haven't started on buying presents when I am reunited with my parents and siblings.  Yes, that's a lot of worrying and pride for one person, and for half a day.  Me and my stubborn ego.

But because it made better sense to be thankful than to be ungrateful, I shall stop thinking about what is lacking or faultfinding today, and appreciate what is already great in my life.  I shall write some of them here. I am thankful that...

• I have a husband who loves me, makes me laugh every single day, takes care of all my needs and embraces me every night to make sure I sleep well.
• I am here in Abu Dhabi living with my husband, eating three times a day, most of the time even more than that.
• that we are strong and healthy and capable of enjoying each other.  
• that we still go on dates and have our little cheap thrills like being able to eat in fastfood joints whenever we want and some occasional splurges.
• that we experienced a grownup fancy dinner on our first wedding anniversary, with sumptuous food, first-class service, and a talented violinist playing for us while we enjoy our meal.  She was playing In the Name of Love, so I felt like Angel Locsin and hubby felt like Aga Muhlach (or Jake Cuenca, whoever he prefers).
• that our marriage is going strong despite of our little differences.
• that our families in the Philippines are safe and healthy and we still get to communicate with them (including Ate Ann in Singapore) often.
• that I have an awesome family who loves me back home and I know that I am being greatly missed every day.
• that our fridge is never empty, meaning the Lord never forsakes us and he provides for (more than just) our needs.
• that I had a good education which is an advantage for me (not all Pinoys here are that fortunate) in looking for a job.
• that I consider myself a good writer and communicator and that sort of gives me an edge from the other unemployed people here in Abu Dhabi.
• that I have new friends here who are my support group and are praying for me.
• that I have great friends in Manila who are awaiting my return.
• that I have faith that enables me to hold on and keep believing, and that this faith only gets stronger through time.
• that I am enjoying my time as a housewife, taking care of my husband's needs.  I never thought that I would be capable of washing his clothes and cooking for him, but here I am, doing it every single day.
• that I have the time to explore my culinary abilities with a willing subject who would eat whatever it is that I would cook. 
• that I have the opportunity to live in a peaceful and prosperous country that encourages me to keep dreaming, not only for myself and my loved ones, but for my country too, that someday this orderliness and prosperity can also be attained in the Philippines.
• that I can already walk to the next block and go to several places on my own, without worrying about getting lost.
• that there are buses and taxi cabs that makes commuting so easy and secure for me.
• that I will see my family again in three months.  Hello Singapore!:)

There are just too many blessings that I can't write all of them down.  My life is already so great.  I knew that a long, long time ago.  My problems and insecurities are so minuscule compared to others (and don't even get me started on the talk about people dying of hunger everyday), no matter how I try to magnify it.  I've always prided myself of being one of God's favorite daughters, I guess I just forget that sometimes.  I have become a spoiled daughter instead, wishing for things that I do not have, wanting other people's lives and possessions when I have been extremely blessed and most loved from the moment He placed me in my mother's womb.  

If you know me and would look at my life, you can say, who am I to complain.  But don't.  Instead, look at your own lives and recall the blessings that you have received and say the same thing. "Who am I to complain?"  And rather than thinking about the wrongs, the things you have to fix and what you lack, think of the things that was given freely and unconditionally.  Those little details that make your life a perfect fit.  

My life is already so good.  I can't help but repeat it.  And it will be even greater with the blessings that will come in.  It's not my job to know when, my only job is to enjoy it.  So worry less, and believe that God is already at work with whatever dream, whatever prayer that you have.

Showing some love to the Kids (my fab five)

We are the Labkids. We have been given that nickname for as long as I can remember. A collective term for the children of the unbeatable tandem of Robert and Ging Labayen ; their extremely lucky offspring.

There are five of us in the brood; three boys and two girls. Five unique individuals; each one of us are different yet also quite alike. If people were to ask us who our leader is, we wouldn’t know. But ask us who stands out the most and I can say that it’s probably me – the most different, the odd one.

If you must know, this essay is already five months (and still counting) in the making. Life gets in the way of me finishing it, and I have yet to find the perfect words to sum up our relationship as siblings. It’s not an easy topic but I write about them anyway because for the past years of my existence, they have been my life. There’s just no other suitable translation for “sila ang karugtong ng buhay ko.” And now that I already left our hideout to start married life, I know I would miss them the most.

How do I know for sure that I’m the odd one among us five? Well, because at times, I make it a point to be different from them. To understand what I’m saying and why I do the things I do, you have to know each of my siblings first.

The eldest is our Kuya Joma. People may refer to him now as the role he used to play on TV. Yes, that’s our big brother. He may be the oldest, but among all of us, he’s the one who is most like a little boy; the most playful and rowdy. Whenever he has free time, he makes sure we do something fun together. He’s a free-spirit. Yet, at times when we need the support of an elder brother, Kuya makes sure that he is there for us. He’s also the most generous among us five. Although, if there’s one dreadful thing that we all have, it’s our short temper, and it’s Kuya Joma that is, well, least patient among us. Or maybe Rocky. Kuya is one to start or attract fights because of his sly exterior. But I was never fooled by his machismo. His whiny tone when he complains gives it away. That’s why I was never afraid of him; because I know that he’s a loving brother. When we were saying goodbye at the airport, that was my reminder to him – be nice. I know you’re a genuinely good person. You were my first role model. Be more patient with our younger siblings and our parents, and be kinder to our friends too. And I’m sorry if I couldn’t take your offer to stay if you would give us all your money, including your talent fee. I knew you meant it and we were very touched by that. I really hope that all goes well for you, so that I can watch you on TFC. But you have to wake up early for your call-time. I won’t be there to be your alarm clock.

Next to me is my brother, Boggs. He’s the one who is always in-charge so in the house, we used to call him “Batas”. He has rightfully earned it though. Ever since we were kids, he was always the one doing errands for our Mama; going to Meralco/PLDT to pay the bills, withdrawing money from our parent’s ATM, installing stuff around the house, he was the one who had to do grownup stuff first. So unofficially, he’s the one in-charge when the parents are not around. Boggs, like our Papa, is a renaissance man and is self-taught at almost every skill. Music, photography, gadgets, sports, driving, etc. He never gives up on something unless he has mastered it. We rely on him a lot, especially on stuff that we don’t know about such as configuring the internet connection or operating the other gadgets around the house. That’s why I’m confident that Boggs is around; a sensible sibling to look after the overly artsy ones. Someone who will drive Kuya to the emergency room when he’s had too much to drink and has trouble breathing (I hope that doesn’t happen anymore), who will make sure that Katherine isn’t drinking Papa’s wines, that Rocky will be home before curfew and who will keep calm when there’s a screaming match at the dining table. Of all my siblings, I know you are the one who needs me the least, but I will always be your ate. In a way, I’m becoming more independent now, just like you have always been.

Rocky, our youngest brother, is the baby of the family. Like my husband, he is also a ‘baller.’ He is my second favourite basketball player in the world. But like me, Rocky is also a writer; even better, he’s a poet. In our “family of artists,” Rocky is the one with a real tortured soul. He has a serious way of looking at things that people never would have guessed about him because he’s quite a hardcourt heartthrob. When our siblings are out of the house and it’s just the two of us and the help, we just let each other be, doing our own thing, with our delivery from McDonalds and Nickelodeon on TV. When our sister is out for her overnight shoots, Rocky usually stays in the girls’ room and sleeps beside me. I think he appreciates that I don’t meddle with what he’s doing, which is how my brothers show their affection to him. I know it was hard for my husband to let his dream of becoming a professional basketball player pass him by, despite how good he is. I know Rocky really wants it bad too, so I push him and encourage him while he’s still young. His older brothers who are frustrated actors (matinee idol wannabes like our Papa) convince him to go to auditions and submit tapes, because they know that it is our baby who can get a break, considering how exceptional he is as a dancer. We are all protective of his dreams because we feel that he has the potential, the chance and means to be who he wants to be. I’m more protective in a way that I don’t want him wasting his time impressing girls or his friends and testing our parents’ patience. Kaye is protective and bossy to Rocky because she’s older than him. Take our word for it Rock, grab every opportunity while you can. Time may be on your side now but it won’t be there forever. Of course, you are still free to live your own life. We just want what’s best for you.

Katherine is my only sister. And when two girls are thrown together in a big family dominated by men, they are most likely to become the worst of rivals, and the best of friends. When I was a kid, I might have wanted a sister to play with, so when Kaye was born, they named her after my imaginary friend. So she’s the playmate and roommate I was stuck with. We shared a room (she secretly read my diary, I secretly read hers) and clothes (she’s fond of buying from the ukay-ukay, but always ends up using my store-bought ones in the long run), we shop together, do girly stuff together, she is my main home girl. There is really that uncanny bond between sisters, that love-hate thing going on. Apart from my husband and my mother, no one else knows me like Kaye does. The minute she walks into the room, she’ll know with my tone of voice if I’m having a bad mood. In the same way, one look at her and I know if it’s best to stay out of her big, messy hair. I miss that a lot right now.

When she was that little doll-faced girl, Kaye wanted to become like her big sis. Well, she’s me, only better, or worse depending on how people see me. If you think I’m good, then she’s a lot better. But if you think I’m bad, she’s much worse. Every achievement and mischief I did in my youth, Kaye has totally surpassed that. And that’s exactly what I expected from her. She is friendly and loyal, feisty, strong-willed and outspoken. She’s not afraid to drive by herself at night, in the rain (and pick me up or drop me off somewhere when I need her to), and stand up to the boys when she thinks something is unfair, which is why I think she must be having a tough time now with the brothers ganging up on her. But don’t you worry sis, you can always reach me for backup. But since you’re the unica hija there right now, please refrain from getting into our parents’ nerves and coming home so late. You know Mama doesn’t sleep well until we’re all safe at home. Please... And you can have the rest of my things. I also give you custody of my clothes, granted that Jai gets the ones that’s not your style (I am attached to my clothes, but for my two best girls, go ahead). You also have access to my closest girl friends and the big barkada to keep you company while I’m away. But before you know it, I’ll be back for good and I will be on your hair again.

And then there’s me - Labkid number 2 and eldest daughter. It must be really nice to have an elder sister; someone to do the boring stuff for you, to worry for you and about you. That’s me in the family. I have been raised well by our mother, I guess. Kuya and Boggs were really rowdy when we were kids so Mama counted on me to be well-behaved; to be polite and mind my manners because I’m a lady. And I think it stuck with me. My siblings are exceptionally crazy and creative it’s really hard to get a hold of their energy and willpower. They would do what they want regardless of what other people would think. Our parents would totally lose their minds if all their kids were running around in circles, so I took the liberty of being the straight one, the disciplinarian. I wouldn’t say I’m a tyrant, but I’m the sibling who wants to act mature and responsible. I think that kind of balances the scale a little bit. I’m the one who says no if they’re about to do something wild, the first one to feel guilty if we lied to our mother about going to church, the one who would usually pass on death-defying and embarrassing stunts, and a stickler to rules and etiquette. I’m also the most “kuripot,” always reminding them to save up for a rainy day. On my wedding day, I know they were happy to see me with someone who can make me laugh and less-grumpy. Call me boring, moral compass, party-pooper, I don’t mind... I own it. That’s who I have to be if I want to look out for the four. I have to be who I am so that they can freely live like hippies. That’s how I show my love to them. But I believe they love that about me; that they can rely on me to do something mundane like wrapping their presents for Christmas Eve, or checking the movie schedule or typing something on Microsoft Word... I wonder who does that now. And because I’m always the first one to do hardcore grownup things like graduate, get a job, quit a job and get married, it’s just equally heartbreaking and befitting that I am the first one to leave the house. I know it’s paradise at home and we can really stay there forever, but I have to do it because I am your responsible sister and I will show you that we’re ready for the world and our family can grow. We’re too much of a good thing to be extinct in the next hundred years.

I miss them a lot every day, despite of the chats and phone calls; I miss our bickering and being silly with each other. Most of the time, I dream that I’m in the dining table with them. We were really just used to being with each other. Our closest friends know how attached we are to our siblings, and we’re needy in a way that we call one’s attention if that Labkid isn’t spending quality time with us. We’re used to going out and having plans, secrets and inside jokes among ourselves. Sometimes, we even listen to our siblings more than to our parents. When someone is in a fight with one of the parents, we make it our business to push him to apologize. “Magsorry ka na.” I don’t know how it is with other families, but that’s what I love about mine.

I may be part of an awesome twosome now, and my husband is my new partner in crime, but I will always be part of this circus-rockband of a group, this fab five. I will always think of them, love them and look out for them, wherever I may be. That’s how I am as their sister. That’s how it is for our family, and that’s how we roll. We are the Labkids.

Jobless

This seemed monumental when I wrote it weeks ago, but because I procrastinated, I think this blog entry has lost its momentum. But here it is anyway:

Looking at my previous blog as a graduating student full of hope and ambition, and now, searching for a job in this foreign city, wondering about my qualifications and whether I should start from the lower, entry-level positions, it dawned on me how my career really mattered to me. I remembered the people who had high hopes for me, who believed that my writing would bring me to places, and thought of me as the one who was most likely to succeed. I can't let them down. Heck, I can't let myself down.

I know I chose a happy family life over my career a long time ago (and I still would, in any day), but I know it's not over yet for me. There's a nagging voice inside my head that tells me to keep pushing, keep dreaming. I'm still young. And I am blessed that I have a husband who provides for me and who can support me. I don't need to settle for a job that I don't love or even care about. And I've come to the conclusion that the happy life that I have now, aside from it being a blessing from above, I know that it's because I always stand by what I want, and try to get it as much as possible.

So, no, thank you. I won't be taking just any job as of now, I'm just not ready to give up on my career yet. I know I can't have everything, but that won't stop me from pursuing the things that would make me happy. I never settle for anything less. I know the perfect job will come to me. I would just keep looking for it, keep praying for it, and keep trying to get it. It's not easy, but I know it will be worth the wait.