I know I'm not the first one to ever admit that marriage is hard. I think it is even believed to be an established fact. Of course it doesn't change that it's also one of the most wonderful things ever created.
But still, why does it have to be effin' difficult? You have to give up some things that when gone, you never thought it would affect you.
Like time for instance. I relish every time that I have with Babe, I still do. So I never imagined that having a shared time would be a challenge for us because we enjoy each other's company a lot. I never thought I'd be missing "me-time", being quiet with just myself, my thoughts, my journals and books. Now that we're permanent roommates I always have to be aware that there's another person in the room. I miss being able to decide what to do with my time and with whom I will spend the day with. Now I always need to check with my husband's schedule and get his approval on what we want to do for the day. I never thought I would miss those days. Now I get what they say about the freedom you have when you're single.
Another thing is that clash of personalities, mindset and culture. Sometimes no matter how we try to understand and make way for each other, we are just too different, we don't see things the same way and we don't agree on some beliefs. It's almost like we have irreconcilable differences. It's hard when no matter how much we explain our side, the other one would still not see the point. Both sides equally guilty of this. It's almost like it's unnatural for two unique individuals to live together.
I think I've heard it somewhere before, that the things or qualities that attracted you to your partner when you started dating will be the things that you will find irritating when you're already living together. I find myself agreeing to that statement at times. When we started out, I loved that Babe's so simple. He's happy just being at home, sleeping or watching TV. Now his simplicity and being such a homebody drives me nuts. He's always watching something on the television, even when we're having meals. It makes me crazy sometimes. But most times when I'm not busy being annoyed at his quirks, I see him concentrating mending the tear on his pants, or reading a magazine learning about kitchen appliances, I can't help but think he's perfect and for the nth time I wonder, how did I get so lucky?
Okay, so we've established that marriage is hard. so why do people still go through with it? Because true love's a blessing. It should be celebrated, and it should be encouraged. Marriage strengthens the love between two people. To understand each other more, keep trying, and stay together despite those irreconcilable differences, forgive and accept each other totally. It's not for those who are ready to drop things at the first sign of danger.
Lately, my husband and I are discovering more things about each other. Sometimes we would argue, and we would just be cool about it, not making a big deal out of the argument. We would agree to disagree. It's forgiveness without saying a word. It's amazing how we understand now, that this is just a petty fight or disagreement, let's get over it and move on with our happy life. Just like that. I never thought I'd be capable of doing that, but now I know that I am.
Simply put, I think that marriage is as great and wonderful as it is hard. So what would I do if it gets harder from here on? Knowing that it also means awesome times ahead, well, bring it on. I'm not one to quit.
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