Freestyling Mode - Celebrate

Instead of worrying about the bad things, celebrate what's already good in your life.

Easier said than done.  Especially for me who worries too much.  I've already spent half my day looking for a job online, wondering what is wrong with my resume, if I'm ever gonna be qualified enough for the companies that I like.  For the nth time I contemplate if I should lower my standards and go for the jobs that are just way out of my league (not in a good way) and apply for jobs in the neighboring city.  I'm still embarrassed that I gave my husband a home video on our first wedding anniversary while he treated me to a movie date, shopping spree and fancy dinner.  And I can't get over the fact that I'm on my fifth month here in Abu Dhabi and I still haven't figured out a way to contribute to our expenses and my husband is the sole breadwinner in our little family of two.  My excitement for our family trip gets a buzzkill when I am reminded that I still don't have shopping money saved up and haven't started on buying presents when I am reunited with my parents and siblings.  Yes, that's a lot of worrying and pride for one person, and for half a day.  Me and my stubborn ego.

But because it made better sense to be thankful than to be ungrateful, I shall stop thinking about what is lacking or faultfinding today, and appreciate what is already great in my life.  I shall write some of them here. I am thankful that...

• I have a husband who loves me, makes me laugh every single day, takes care of all my needs and embraces me every night to make sure I sleep well.
• I am here in Abu Dhabi living with my husband, eating three times a day, most of the time even more than that.
• that we are strong and healthy and capable of enjoying each other.  
• that we still go on dates and have our little cheap thrills like being able to eat in fastfood joints whenever we want and some occasional splurges.
• that we experienced a grownup fancy dinner on our first wedding anniversary, with sumptuous food, first-class service, and a talented violinist playing for us while we enjoy our meal.  She was playing In the Name of Love, so I felt like Angel Locsin and hubby felt like Aga Muhlach (or Jake Cuenca, whoever he prefers).
• that our marriage is going strong despite of our little differences.
• that our families in the Philippines are safe and healthy and we still get to communicate with them (including Ate Ann in Singapore) often.
• that I have an awesome family who loves me back home and I know that I am being greatly missed every day.
• that our fridge is never empty, meaning the Lord never forsakes us and he provides for (more than just) our needs.
• that I had a good education which is an advantage for me (not all Pinoys here are that fortunate) in looking for a job.
• that I consider myself a good writer and communicator and that sort of gives me an edge from the other unemployed people here in Abu Dhabi.
• that I have new friends here who are my support group and are praying for me.
• that I have great friends in Manila who are awaiting my return.
• that I have faith that enables me to hold on and keep believing, and that this faith only gets stronger through time.
• that I am enjoying my time as a housewife, taking care of my husband's needs.  I never thought that I would be capable of washing his clothes and cooking for him, but here I am, doing it every single day.
• that I have the time to explore my culinary abilities with a willing subject who would eat whatever it is that I would cook. 
• that I have the opportunity to live in a peaceful and prosperous country that encourages me to keep dreaming, not only for myself and my loved ones, but for my country too, that someday this orderliness and prosperity can also be attained in the Philippines.
• that I can already walk to the next block and go to several places on my own, without worrying about getting lost.
• that there are buses and taxi cabs that makes commuting so easy and secure for me.
• that I will see my family again in three months.  Hello Singapore!:)

There are just too many blessings that I can't write all of them down.  My life is already so great.  I knew that a long, long time ago.  My problems and insecurities are so minuscule compared to others (and don't even get me started on the talk about people dying of hunger everyday), no matter how I try to magnify it.  I've always prided myself of being one of God's favorite daughters, I guess I just forget that sometimes.  I have become a spoiled daughter instead, wishing for things that I do not have, wanting other people's lives and possessions when I have been extremely blessed and most loved from the moment He placed me in my mother's womb.  

If you know me and would look at my life, you can say, who am I to complain.  But don't.  Instead, look at your own lives and recall the blessings that you have received and say the same thing. "Who am I to complain?"  And rather than thinking about the wrongs, the things you have to fix and what you lack, think of the things that was given freely and unconditionally.  Those little details that make your life a perfect fit.  

My life is already so good.  I can't help but repeat it.  And it will be even greater with the blessings that will come in.  It's not my job to know when, my only job is to enjoy it.  So worry less, and believe that God is already at work with whatever dream, whatever prayer that you have.