So it's true that I've been putting off writing for sometime and going on a Gossip Girl marathon instead. Don't feel bad. It's not the only thing that I have been putting off. I've been doing the same thing with sweeping the floors and doing my nails. Never thought you'd see them used in one sentence? Neither did I.
Why the sudden devotion to Gossip Girl episodes? I think it has something to do with nostalgia. It's not really Serena van der Woodsen that I miss, it's her colorful life that was once like mine. Or at least, in a way. The awesome dinners without having to move a finger, feeling fabulous while shopping for clothes, nail pampering service on call, catching up with friends over drinks or coffee, planning one get-together after another. And now I'm slaving over dinners and dishes, hesitant on giving myself a pedicure, just because someone used to do that for me. I long for the days of laughing out loud without having a care in the world, doing whatever I want, because I can. Because I'm...me. I guess I just miss the girl that I once was, and all the fun and the perks that she was entitled to.
But thinking like that makes me feel guilty. Complaining about my current life took me back to the past, my rowdy teenage and confusion phase: failing one subject after another, quarreling with my parents and longing for the day when I would be out of their shadows, praying at midnight mass, wishing on all the shooting stars, hoping that I would soon catch the eye of a decent man. Just one, who would take me seriously and treat me right. I said I would give up everything just to have that one person spending his life with me. Just like Adam Sandler with Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates.
And now I'm here, happily married to a man who loves me and puts me first before anything or anyone else. He's more than just good to me; he puts off buying himself anything, just so I could have a trip to the Hershey's store and make sure I get my sweet-tooth fix. And now we're already thinking of starting a family together. A happy family and a life free of complications and drama. That's more than what any Serena or Carrie or TV series it-girl could ever hope for. So it comes with mops and washing dishes and doing my own nails and less-fancy dinners than before, but really, who am I to complain? The perks and the privileges may come back later on or never again, but right now, I have a husband who loves me day in and day out. Isn't it that the search for that person is what these chick flicks and any hit series are all about? What's the point of being cool, of being fabulous, if you can't do what you want and be with the one you love?
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